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Wednesday, December 10, 2008 

GOLD!

In response to my recent post, "Stupid in So Many Ways," which was about a crazy high school student who claimed to be channeling God, or the debble, or whatever, our much-loved (and oh-so-pretty) Hillbilly Mom rubbed it in a little that Missouri's hillbillies are (ostensibly) smarter than Mississippi's. She did follow that up by acknowledging that she'd probably eat those words soon, and I said a quick prayer that she would.

People, there is a God.

Alleged Missouri burglar found stuck in chimney

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- Santa aside, that trip down the chimney doesn't work so well after all.
So a man in St. Louis found out early Wednesday. Police say he was a burglar, and he was arrested after a harrowing three hours inside the chimney of a business.


Authorities were called at 3 a.m. to a pawn shop, where the man was wedged in the chimney, unable to move. After about three hours, rescuers were able to knock away bricks and free him.

He was taken to a hospital for evaluation. The man's name has not been released.


Gold, I say.

In other news, it's snowing in Mississippi tonight, so our own hillbillies will probably make the news tomorrow when people start driving. Tornadoes yesterday, snow today. Go figger.

Well, that doesn't really count, because those Santa burglars are quite common around here.

I was thinking more along the lines of some idiot nailing himself to the roof with a nailgun shot to the foot.

But I DO admit that you win, if only on a technicality, and that I am deep-frying my words as I type.

We are expecting an ice storm next week, as prophesied by those wayward weathermen, so I anticipate stories of asphyxiated hillbillies who ran their stolen generators INSIDE their shacks so nobody would steal them back if left on the porch.

I win! I win! I knew that spending all day on the computer would somehow pay off!

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