It's not that I can't sleep...
...it's that I can't relax.
Over the last several days, I have realized that I actually do have time to sleep enough to keep from being a zombie. Charlie sleeps up to 4 hours at a time, sometimes even longer if I'm lucky. If I could sleep during those long stretches, I'd be good. But I can't sleep because I can't relax, and that's because you never know which of his naps is a long one, and which is a short one. There is no predictability. When he lies down to sleep, it might be five hours before he's up again...or it might be thirty minutes. So when I try to steal a nap, I'm on alert. I usually can't doze off because every sound I hear makes my eyes pop wide open. Was that Charlie? Is he up? Is he about to start crying? Common sense says to just ignore it until he does start crying, or until I know for a fact that he is, indeed, awake and demanding my attention. But it doesn't work that way. If I wait until he's crying, dealing with him is harder. It's so much easier if I can anticipate his needs and be ready to meet them instantly. Offering him food before he gets hungry to the point of being pissed at the world is a lot easier than feeding him once he's throwing a fit. The same goes for changing his diaper, giving him a pacifier, or just picking him up to hold him. I can't sleep because I'm trying to anticipate his needs, but I can't really anticipate his needs because every time I think I've figured out a pattern to them, he throws me a curveball.
Take now for example. It's past midnight. He ate his last meal at 10:00, and has been awake since then. Normally, he'd be asleep right now, and so would I, but I think someone sprinkled some crack on his pacifier, because he's literally been moving nonstop for the last hour and a half. He'll start to doze off, then wake himself up and be wide eyed and wiggling for another half hour. I laid in bed listening to him kick the sides of the bassinet for a while, then decided it would be easier to just get up with him and let him work some of the energy out. I wonder if they make baby Nyquil.
I'm kidding about the baby Nyquil. Sort of.
Over the last several days, I have realized that I actually do have time to sleep enough to keep from being a zombie. Charlie sleeps up to 4 hours at a time, sometimes even longer if I'm lucky. If I could sleep during those long stretches, I'd be good. But I can't sleep because I can't relax, and that's because you never know which of his naps is a long one, and which is a short one. There is no predictability. When he lies down to sleep, it might be five hours before he's up again...or it might be thirty minutes. So when I try to steal a nap, I'm on alert. I usually can't doze off because every sound I hear makes my eyes pop wide open. Was that Charlie? Is he up? Is he about to start crying? Common sense says to just ignore it until he does start crying, or until I know for a fact that he is, indeed, awake and demanding my attention. But it doesn't work that way. If I wait until he's crying, dealing with him is harder. It's so much easier if I can anticipate his needs and be ready to meet them instantly. Offering him food before he gets hungry to the point of being pissed at the world is a lot easier than feeding him once he's throwing a fit. The same goes for changing his diaper, giving him a pacifier, or just picking him up to hold him. I can't sleep because I'm trying to anticipate his needs, but I can't really anticipate his needs because every time I think I've figured out a pattern to them, he throws me a curveball.
Take now for example. It's past midnight. He ate his last meal at 10:00, and has been awake since then. Normally, he'd be asleep right now, and so would I, but I think someone sprinkled some crack on his pacifier, because he's literally been moving nonstop for the last hour and a half. He'll start to doze off, then wake himself up and be wide eyed and wiggling for another half hour. I laid in bed listening to him kick the sides of the bassinet for a while, then decided it would be easier to just get up with him and let him work some of the energy out. I wonder if they make baby Nyquil.
I'm kidding about the baby Nyquil. Sort of.
