The cafeteria lady is trying to poison me.
Several notable things have happened to me in the last few days.
First, and funniest, is the fact that I got screamed at by a cafeteria lady who perceived me to be a dire threat to the orderly flow of humans through the food line.
Actually, she's the crazy alcoholic mother of one of the geniuses in my first period class. Genius Girl has been failing since the first day of school. Genius Girl's current average ON THE YEAR is in the 50's. Genius Girl? Cares not. She's already failed a few times, and is about 15 years old. You couldn't hold a gun on this kid and get her to do any work.
Yes, I tried to contact Alky Momma-- many times, in fact. The number in the computer was disconnected. Letters were not responded to. Progress reports were not signed and returned, and 3 report cards with F's failed to bring Alky Momma out of hiding. The ones who even pretend to give a damn usually at least fake their way through a phone call or a conference once an official F has been received. The ones who don't? Well, we figure they're the true deadbeats. And there are plenty of them, so it really doesn't stand out, so I didn't worry myself too much over whether this woman was going to make herself available.
Then on Halloween night I chaperoned the middle school dance. A.M. showed up to pick up Genius Girl, and she was sloppy drunk and cussing. It was so bad that a few deputies said something to her. I asked them why they didn't arrest her-- not only did she stomp her way through a crowd of 13 and 14 year olds (and cops) cussing and screaming and stinking of liquor, but she was clearly wasted and about to drive off with Genius Girl in the car. They said there was no room in the county jail. Anyway, that was the first time I met Alky Momma. She didn't resurface again until she got her shiny new job at the school cafeteria.
As soon as she started working there, she started bugging me. Genius Girl goes to her during the day when teachers piss her off. I've been confronted by A.M. a few times-- once it was because I didn't let the girl leave class when she claimed to be sick but clearly had a case of English Test. Another time, I was guilty of not letting her leave class when her glasses broke. Sorry-- I didn't know there was an optometrist's office located in the cafeteria. And the glasses were just as broken when the bell rang to end my class as they were when the girl asked to leave. We're not supposed to let kids roam campus with bullshit excuses, and I don't. I don't care if their mothers are on campus. A bullshit excuse is a bullshit excuse, and if I DO let kids out with them, *I* get called on it. (Hurray again for the teachers being the only people held accountable for anything.)
Anyway, A.M. occasionally calls the counselor to bitch about me, and the counselor responds by saying she'd be glad to arrange a conference. A.M. schedules the conference, then doesn't show up. This has happened twice in the last month. One time she called my room directly to bitch about something and I told her to call and schedule a conference. She did. And she canceled. So you see a pattern emerging.
I honestly haven't done anything to earn the harassment I'm getting from this psycho woman. I suspect she has some kill whitey doctrine somewhere in her personal philosophy, but I could be wrong. She just seems to think I'm out to get her and her child. Some of the kids really play the race card when they get in trouble with white teachers. Their parents often times have a lingering suspicion in the back of their minds about you, and a complaint from a child can bring that suspicion to the forefront. Not every parent brings that baggage to the table, but it's another trap in the minefield that I have to tiptoe through daily. You don't always know that's part of it until you've had multiple contacts with a person, but it's often a factor.
So now that I've given you a whole post worth of background info, let's go back to the story. Alky Momma works in the cafeteria. There are two lines that kids go through to get their food. Lucky for me, A.M. has never worked on the line we go through. Yesterday was hamburger day. I got my hamburger, and then realized they were out of the little plastic cups of lettuce and tomato. The lady at the register suggested I go to the other line to get some, so I did. Well, there stood A.M. behind the counter, bloodshot eyes and all. As soon as she saw me, her face went sour. I said, "They're out of lettuce over there," as I reached up with my greedy fingers to snatch a cup of forbidden lettuce. Well, A.M. freaked the hell out. She was holding a tray in her hands, and she slammed it down on the counter and began screaming at the top of her lungs: You didn't even come through this line! You ain't pose ta come in heah and get nothin and you know it!"
She was still screaming as she walked away to the kitchen. I was taken by surprise. Can't say that I've ever been screamed at by an angry cafeteria lady. Over four shreds of lettuce and a see-through slice of tomato. That I paid for. Anyway, I just mumbled something like, "You could report me, I guess" and quickly got my forbidden vegetable and went to eat my forbidden hamburger.
The kids aren't allowed to go through different lines to get things, but teachers? C'mon. If she says anything else to me, I think I'll tell her I'm not one of the kids and she can file a formal complaint with the front office if my lust for lettuce is really disrupting the lunch line.
Never a dull moment, people. Never a dull moment.
Here's the best part-- today when I went through my usual line that she usually doesn't work in-- SHE WAS WORKING IN THAT LINE. For the first time ever. I always greet the non-bitch cafeteria lady who usually works in my line, so I said, "How are y'all today" as I went in. She didn't speak to me. She reached down to the counter and picked up a tray of food that had been prepared beforehand, and set it up on the line as I walked up. I shit you not.
I cautiously made my way past the tray of poison pasta and opted for a pre-made salad. Think I'll take my lunch tomorrow.
First, and funniest, is the fact that I got screamed at by a cafeteria lady who perceived me to be a dire threat to the orderly flow of humans through the food line.
Actually, she's the crazy alcoholic mother of one of the geniuses in my first period class. Genius Girl has been failing since the first day of school. Genius Girl's current average ON THE YEAR is in the 50's. Genius Girl? Cares not. She's already failed a few times, and is about 15 years old. You couldn't hold a gun on this kid and get her to do any work.
Yes, I tried to contact Alky Momma-- many times, in fact. The number in the computer was disconnected. Letters were not responded to. Progress reports were not signed and returned, and 3 report cards with F's failed to bring Alky Momma out of hiding. The ones who even pretend to give a damn usually at least fake their way through a phone call or a conference once an official F has been received. The ones who don't? Well, we figure they're the true deadbeats. And there are plenty of them, so it really doesn't stand out, so I didn't worry myself too much over whether this woman was going to make herself available.
Then on Halloween night I chaperoned the middle school dance. A.M. showed up to pick up Genius Girl, and she was sloppy drunk and cussing. It was so bad that a few deputies said something to her. I asked them why they didn't arrest her-- not only did she stomp her way through a crowd of 13 and 14 year olds (and cops) cussing and screaming and stinking of liquor, but she was clearly wasted and about to drive off with Genius Girl in the car. They said there was no room in the county jail. Anyway, that was the first time I met Alky Momma. She didn't resurface again until she got her shiny new job at the school cafeteria.
As soon as she started working there, she started bugging me. Genius Girl goes to her during the day when teachers piss her off. I've been confronted by A.M. a few times-- once it was because I didn't let the girl leave class when she claimed to be sick but clearly had a case of English Test. Another time, I was guilty of not letting her leave class when her glasses broke. Sorry-- I didn't know there was an optometrist's office located in the cafeteria. And the glasses were just as broken when the bell rang to end my class as they were when the girl asked to leave. We're not supposed to let kids roam campus with bullshit excuses, and I don't. I don't care if their mothers are on campus. A bullshit excuse is a bullshit excuse, and if I DO let kids out with them, *I* get called on it. (Hurray again for the teachers being the only people held accountable for anything.)
Anyway, A.M. occasionally calls the counselor to bitch about me, and the counselor responds by saying she'd be glad to arrange a conference. A.M. schedules the conference, then doesn't show up. This has happened twice in the last month. One time she called my room directly to bitch about something and I told her to call and schedule a conference. She did. And she canceled. So you see a pattern emerging.
I honestly haven't done anything to earn the harassment I'm getting from this psycho woman. I suspect she has some kill whitey doctrine somewhere in her personal philosophy, but I could be wrong. She just seems to think I'm out to get her and her child. Some of the kids really play the race card when they get in trouble with white teachers. Their parents often times have a lingering suspicion in the back of their minds about you, and a complaint from a child can bring that suspicion to the forefront. Not every parent brings that baggage to the table, but it's another trap in the minefield that I have to tiptoe through daily. You don't always know that's part of it until you've had multiple contacts with a person, but it's often a factor.
So now that I've given you a whole post worth of background info, let's go back to the story. Alky Momma works in the cafeteria. There are two lines that kids go through to get their food. Lucky for me, A.M. has never worked on the line we go through. Yesterday was hamburger day. I got my hamburger, and then realized they were out of the little plastic cups of lettuce and tomato. The lady at the register suggested I go to the other line to get some, so I did. Well, there stood A.M. behind the counter, bloodshot eyes and all. As soon as she saw me, her face went sour. I said, "They're out of lettuce over there," as I reached up with my greedy fingers to snatch a cup of forbidden lettuce. Well, A.M. freaked the hell out. She was holding a tray in her hands, and she slammed it down on the counter and began screaming at the top of her lungs: You didn't even come through this line! You ain't pose ta come in heah and get nothin and you know it!"
She was still screaming as she walked away to the kitchen. I was taken by surprise. Can't say that I've ever been screamed at by an angry cafeteria lady. Over four shreds of lettuce and a see-through slice of tomato. That I paid for. Anyway, I just mumbled something like, "You could report me, I guess" and quickly got my forbidden vegetable and went to eat my forbidden hamburger.
The kids aren't allowed to go through different lines to get things, but teachers? C'mon. If she says anything else to me, I think I'll tell her I'm not one of the kids and she can file a formal complaint with the front office if my lust for lettuce is really disrupting the lunch line.
Never a dull moment, people. Never a dull moment.
Here's the best part-- today when I went through my usual line that she usually doesn't work in-- SHE WAS WORKING IN THAT LINE. For the first time ever. I always greet the non-bitch cafeteria lady who usually works in my line, so I said, "How are y'all today" as I went in. She didn't speak to me. She reached down to the counter and picked up a tray of food that had been prepared beforehand, and set it up on the line as I walked up. I shit you not.
I cautiously made my way past the tray of poison pasta and opted for a pre-made salad. Think I'll take my lunch tomorrow.
Probably had broken glass mixed up in it. Sheesh!
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:28 AM
You should have taken it and then had a lab examine it. If she tries to do something (even minor), you could have her put in jail.
Posted by
Mr Bates |
9:00 AM
I once heard a story in the news about a cop who went through a McDonald's, got a coke, and didn't realize it had a big hocker in it until he got to the bottom and took the lid off. He went in, asked who had done it. The kid confessed. He charged him with "contaminating a substance intended for human consumption" and took him to jail.
Posted by
Mommy Needs a Xanax |
5:23 PM
We had the lady who worked at the ham factory who stole nitrites or some such preservative, and put them in a soda she brought to her 'friend'. Her 'friend' whose husband she coveted. The poor 'friend' almost died.
My story of sticks in green beans pales in comparison to your attempted murder.
Posted by
Hillbilly Mom |
8:06 PM