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Wednesday, April 02, 2008 

Random Thought Whenever

My teaching license is MIA. A long time ago I created a file and labeled it "Licenses." It contains my teaching license, our marriage license, some stuff Tim needs to renew his pharmacy license, etc. Important stuff. It was in one of the two filing cabinets. Now I can't find it anywhere. I know that I've seen it recently, and I get a cold feeling in my stomach when I think about it because it seems like it might have been in a location other than the one in which it belonged, but I can't remember where. Anyway, my job application to Dream High School is at a standstill right now because I can't remember my teaching license number and expiration date.

A kid called me a hoe today and nobody seemed to think it was a problem except for me. I can't believe they didn't suspend her. Nothing I can do about it though. I am done seething over it. But believe me, I did seethe.

I'm tired. I'm more tired the last 3-4 days than I have been the previous few weeks. Last night I told a friend I would meet her at 8:00. At 6:30 I realized it was going to take lots of effort to get off the couch. At 7:00 I decided she'd understand. I went to bed early, and when the alarm went off at 5:45 today (I've moved it back from my pre-pregnancy 5:15, since I can't spend those 30 minutes drinking coffee) I really thought it had to be some kind of mistake. But no, there it was before my eyes in plain green numbers. 5:45. I snoozed 'til 6:00, and dragged my tail all day. That young'un is sucking it out of me right now.

Pookie is unusually sleepy lately. He hasn't even tried to pierce my jugular a single time in the last 2 days. Maybe he's pregnant too.

It's still not a cat blog.

Back to pregnancy symptoms for a minute. Have I mentioned that I am spewing more vitriol than...than...I don't know what. I'm just pissed! All the time. For nothing. I'm miserable and I want other people to feel my misery. I don't want sympathy. I just want you to feel the pain of my emotional trainwreck. Don't ask me a question because the answer is f*ck off. Don't ask me to do anything because the answer is f*ck off. Don't tell me to have a nice day because the response is f*ck off. I just want everyone to effing eff off. Then I realize what a total bitch I'm being, and I want to cry, because it's ultra bitchy-- even for me. It's really hard not to cry. This is supposed to get better after week 10. I am either in 9 or 10 right now. I'm not sure.

Poor Tim. He's trying to be positive and keep me positive. It helps-- it really does. But he's getting more than his fair share of bitchiness lately and sometimes I really can't help it.

I'm hungry and fat and out of salad ingredients. All that remains are spinach leaves, and all I want is a Big Mac.

Okay, this is the last pregnancy thing I'll talk about today. At least I think it's a pregnancy thing because I've never had it before. There is so much spit in my mouth that it flies out sometimes. I have become the teacher that spits when she talks. The kids on the front row close their eyes when I walk by if I'm talking. Sometimes my mouth is so full of it that I have to stop and swallow to finish a sentence or it'll fly out. When I wake up, my pillow is soggy and my ear is full. I spit you not.

I apologize for that last part. Unless it made you giggle.

It's 9:30. Why am I still awake? This is not going to seem worth staying up for when the alarm goes off in the morning.

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