Stinker.
Thursday just wasn't my day. I had more than my fair share of very embarrassing moments.
During 7th period, my stomach felt a little funny. My students were working quietly, and I was standing off in a corner going through a pile of papers, trying to decide what could be thrown out and what needed to be filed. My stomach did a little rumble, and then suddenly I farted quite loudly. It just came out by force all on its own. It was just loud enough for the students to hear it, and since I was the only person on that end of the room, there was no denying who dealt it. At first I just tried to keep filing and pretend as if nothing had happened, but out of the corner of my eye I could see their little heads pop up and they started looking at one another as if they were trying to decide whether they'd heard what they thought they'd heard. Then my face started turning red, and they started giggling. Then I started giggling. Then the whole class fell apart.
God. I actually farted in front of my class. Then I actually laughed with them about it. Not my proudest moment.
Later that day, I was in a restaurant with two friends. We were in this little family owned catfish place. The type of place where people go after church. It's filled with local teachers and old ladies. My two friends were eating crab legs, and I was just along for the ride. I had eaten earlier. So I ordered decaf coffee and water, and was reaching across the table to get the fake sugar when I knocked my giant glass of ice water over. It happened in slow motion, and I uttered an F bomb as the cold fell into my lap. The whole place stopped to look at me. Again, not my proudest moment. Not as bad as farting out loud in front of a classroom of 13 year olds, but still.
During 7th period, my stomach felt a little funny. My students were working quietly, and I was standing off in a corner going through a pile of papers, trying to decide what could be thrown out and what needed to be filed. My stomach did a little rumble, and then suddenly I farted quite loudly. It just came out by force all on its own. It was just loud enough for the students to hear it, and since I was the only person on that end of the room, there was no denying who dealt it. At first I just tried to keep filing and pretend as if nothing had happened, but out of the corner of my eye I could see their little heads pop up and they started looking at one another as if they were trying to decide whether they'd heard what they thought they'd heard. Then my face started turning red, and they started giggling. Then I started giggling. Then the whole class fell apart.
God. I actually farted in front of my class. Then I actually laughed with them about it. Not my proudest moment.
Later that day, I was in a restaurant with two friends. We were in this little family owned catfish place. The type of place where people go after church. It's filled with local teachers and old ladies. My two friends were eating crab legs, and I was just along for the ride. I had eaten earlier. So I ordered decaf coffee and water, and was reaching across the table to get the fake sugar when I knocked my giant glass of ice water over. It happened in slow motion, and I uttered an F bomb as the cold fell into my lap. The whole place stopped to look at me. Again, not my proudest moment. Not as bad as farting out loud in front of a classroom of 13 year olds, but still.
Better get all those words out of your system now - they will be the very FIRST ones your child picks up!
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:56 PM