So we decided to start a cult
Tim and I have finally decided to admit that the only way we know how to do things is full tilt. We're all about excess around here. It's not possible for us to do a thing in a reasonable way; the only way we can successfully make a change is to become obsessed.
We want to get healthy and lose weight. We have both lost lots of weight in the past only to regain every pound and go back to our old fat ass ways. Recently I had some success and lost about 20 pounds. According to the scales, I haven't gained all of it back, but I'm well on my way. I just can't keep doing something unless I think about it all the time and totally go nuts about it.
So we decided to start a health cult. We've gotta get brainwashed, so we're just gonna be totally fucking nuts about it and never compromise. I'm gonna pretend like it's my religion-- like eating a fried drumstick would send me to the very pits of Hell. No vile substances shall enter into this temple of mine. This very large temple.
As the lady of the house and the keeper of the kitchen, I am the leader of the health cult, and as my follower he has to eat whatever I put in front of him.
I'm dizzy with power. What shall I try first?
We want to get healthy and lose weight. We have both lost lots of weight in the past only to regain every pound and go back to our old fat ass ways. Recently I had some success and lost about 20 pounds. According to the scales, I haven't gained all of it back, but I'm well on my way. I just can't keep doing something unless I think about it all the time and totally go nuts about it.
So we decided to start a health cult. We've gotta get brainwashed, so we're just gonna be totally fucking nuts about it and never compromise. I'm gonna pretend like it's my religion-- like eating a fried drumstick would send me to the very pits of Hell. No vile substances shall enter into this temple of mine. This very large temple.
As the lady of the house and the keeper of the kitchen, I am the leader of the health cult, and as my follower he has to eat whatever I put in front of him.
I'm dizzy with power. What shall I try first?
Labels: diary of a fat ass
I've been thinking about joining the local gym. I just hate to fork out the $$ and then not go like I should. Plus, I hate all the skinny people in there. They should have separate gyms for fat people. It does NOT inspire me to see skinny people exercising - well, it DOES inspire me, but only to stab them, which is frowned upon.
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:08 PM
Yes, but if you could stab just one skinny bitch per visit, think of how often you'd go! Someone should find a way to market that. Stab-a-bitch. $99 a month.
Posted by
Mommy Needs a Xanax |
8:00 PM
Now THERE'S an incentive I could sink my knife into!
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:08 PM