DeadpanAnn (old blogger version)

Yesterday may have been the greatest clusterfuck of all time. We were scheduled for the last day of testing, and it was the math test. For you non-teachers, the distribution of testing materials is a pain, but on math day it's even worse. This is because all testing materials are "secure," and each teacher has to stand in the little vault and count each individual item and sign for them. On math day it's worse because there are more items: calculators, rulers, formula charts, etc. (Why do they get to use all that stuff, anyway!?) So it took a while for all 40+ teachers to get their materials checked out and back to the rooms.

It was getting very close to time to start. I had all my students seated where I wanted them, had taken up all their personal belongings, had threatened their lives if they didn't hand over their cell phones, and had even handed out the pencils. I was just waiting for the green light to start testing. The intercom clicked, and we all waited to hear the go ahead. Instead, we heard, "Attention students and teachers. This announcement is very important, so please listen closely. We have just received word from the central office in Jackson that we will not be allowed to test today due to the weather that is on its way here. Testing is postponed until tomorrow. Please gather your testing materials and come check them back in."

Arrrrrrrrrrgghhhhhhh.

Checking test materials back in is the exact same as checking them out. You have to count everything. So basically, the proctors, who are made up of volunteers in the community who generally have NO experience in dealing with students, were left alone in the classes with the kids for 15-30 minutes while the teachers went to check the stuff back in. I was back to my room in 20 minutes, but I wasn't worried about my proctor. She subs all the time and can handle them as well as any teacher. Still, I hear all hell broke loose in one or two rooms. What did they expect? It really could have been worse.

Now with the test postponed until tomorrow (today) the kids were upset because they had been promised a May Day today. It's postponed until next week, which should be better for them since it might rain again today, but you can't tell a 14 year old anything. Also, the teachers were all planning to spend 1st through 4th periods testing. So now every teacher is trying to pull something together at the last minute.

I decided we'd have Mercy Day. This means that all the people who are failing either for this term or for the year (and there are a lot of them) would have a chance to complete some work for major extra points. It was worth 120 free daily points PLUS a test grade of up to 100. They had to do six English assignments, but they weren't that hard. Most of the kids finished it in the two hours they were with me. Well, except for the class that spent an hour on the floor during the TORNADO WARNING.

Yeah. My 1st period class came in at 8:30. We went through the hurrah of the cancelled test. Second period was late getting started, but it didn't matter because all mine come back to me for 2nd period too. Mere seconds into 2nd period, we're told to line up on the floors against the wall because there is a tornado warning.

The kids don't take this seriously enough. They don't understand that a warning means a tornado has been spotted in the area. Everything is a damn joke to them. I had to scream at the top of my lungs to get them to fcking MOVE. They were actually arguing with me and refusing to get on the damn ground! Unreal. Then they wouldn't really get in the right position, which I'm thinking they MUST have been taught from kindergarten on, and they spent the entire time bitching about having to be in the floor. There are worse things in life, people. I couldn't believe what an ordeal it was to be in a tornado warning with that bunch, and we were down there for over an hour.

This is my hell. Yes, if I died and went to hell, it would be me with that particular group of kids in a tornado warning for eternity.

Once the weather threat had passed, they moved on the 3rd period, which is my planning period. There were only 30 minutes left of 3rd period, but at least I got some kind of break. It's the first time this week I've actually had a planning period, because testing usually goes through 4th, and instead of trying to be fair and have the kids return to a different class each day, they have been sending them straight to 4th period after testing.

The rest of the day dragged on. I showed a video in my 6th and 7th periods. Today I think they will have Mercy Day, but fewer of them need it, so I'm not sure how it's gonna go.

When the last kid finally dragged out of my class at 4:00, I was thinking the day was over. I had completely forgotten about my nephew's high school graduation. Tim had to work, so I had to go alone to make sure our little corner of the family was represented. They live about 50 miles from here, so I had zero time to relax after work. I freshened up, changed clothes, and hit the road. Then I spent 90 minutes in a HOT gym just waiting for the thing to start. That's how early you have to be to a graduation in a small town, because everyone goes whether they have family graduating or not. The thing just dragged on, but we got the boy graduated, then there was the family get-together/party afterwards. I was the first person to leave, and I was still there until 10:00. It was close to 11:00 when I finally made it home.

Even when I got here, it seemed like there was no chance to sit down for an hour or so. Things just had to be done, and they were urgent. For a fleeting moment I thought It won't stop-- where does this day END? And then it occured to me that this is a drop in the bucket compared to what must be in store. I guess I'd better get used to it.

Funny. I had a similar thought in the ER Wednesday night when they were jabbing tubes into my various holes.

Labels: family, Good Old Fashioned Bitchin', it's my pity party and I'll bitch if I want to, professional screw-ups, teacher life

Yesterday was Career Day at school. Each class had 4 pairs of speakers come through and talk to the kids about their jobs. Most of them were extremely good. The kids behaved, asked appropriate questions, and were mostly polite. A few needed to have the fear of God put in them as a reminder, but fortunately I have gotten better at doing that without saying a word.

Our class had three people with government jobs come through-- two had to do with natural resource conservation. I thought it was odd that they'd send us 2 very similar jobs. We also had some folks from the Boy Scouts, and while they didn't talk much about their job, their "stay in school and respect your teachers" speech was the most powerful one I've ever heard, and the kids listened. Kudos to the Boy Scouts. Methinks my Little Wendol may have to join their ranks when he's old enough.

Another class got to hear a lady from the health department who goes around and gives talks about abstinence, std's, etc. I know this because once the speakers were gone and we went back to the regular schedule, I had some of the kids from that group in my later classes and they couldn't stop talking about it. One student in 4th period told me that the lady had said that if you perform oral sex on a guy and...um...swallow that you could still get pregnant because there's a chance that it could still get to the right part of your body. I asked the girl if she had misunderstood. Maybe the speaker was telling her she could get a disease from that. No, she insisted, you can get pregnant from that.

Umkay. Considering that they know I'm pregnant, I was afraid of how personal that conversation could have become had I pursued it, so I still chalked it up to a misunderstanding-- or maybe the kid just wanted to say something disgusting to get a reaction out of me. Who knows.

Enter 6th period. In the last 5 minutes of class, once all our English ducks were in a row, I asked the kids to tell me who their favorite speakers were and why. Another student told me about the sex speech. She told me the same thing the other kid had said about oral sex. You can get pregnant, she insisted.

Now, the first kid who reported this newfound ignorance was an 8th grader, and the second one was a 7th grader. That means they heard the same speaker at different times. (The speakers rotated between classrooms every 20 minutes.) That means the woman MUST have said that-- and more than once!

I'm all for educating kids on the facts about sex. They need to know. We need to be frank with them, in my humble opinion, because if we choose not to educate them, someone else will. But give them facts, not lies. Bullshitting them on that stuff to scare them is the worst thing you could do, as evidenced by the fact that they are already trotting around trying to confirm the information with other adults. What do you think the other adults are going to say when they ask them about this? They're going to tell them it's shit! I did! They didn't believe me, but I was the first one they asked about it. By the time they get to adult number 3, they'll see the light. And then what will they think? That if the lady bullshitted them on that, she might've bullshitted them on other things? That the whole "be careful" speech is based on crap? I think that is exactly what they'll conclude. Then when they find themselves in a steamy situation with a member of the opposite sex and those hormones are screaming stick it in! there will be no reason not to, condom or not.

A lot more could have been accomplished by being honest with them. The speaker could've just told them the facts very frankly. It's not like you have to lie about sex to get their attention when you're talking about it-- all you have to do is bring it up, and you've got their undivided attention, period. By bullshitting them, she defeated her own purpose. But I guess if kids stop getting pregnant and getting std's, she's out of a job. So maybe it was a huge success from her standpoint.

Stupid bitch.

Today will be less exciting. They've got to take a quiz, and the rest of their time with me will be uneventful. I hope to get them to read today. Getting them to do work is becoming more and more difficult, and the days are starting to feel longer. Spring Fever has set in. The sun is shining, it's warm, and everyone feels so oppressed having to sit in a classroom and watch the perfect weather through a window.

Labels: Good Old Fashioned Bitchin', professional screw-ups, stupid people, The Government is Raping Us

I've already completed seven days of training, orientation, etc., and have three more days of similar stuff to look forward to before the kids actually arrive.

Today I met the other teachers at the school. There aren't as many new teachers as I originally thought. When I was there working a few days ago, there were two first-year teachers adjacent to my classroom. They kept coming and asking me questions. I figured we were in for a long year if I'm the voice of wisdom. I have only taught for one year, and that doesn't imply any level of wisdom or know-how. It just means I'm harder to kill than some. Turns out there are two other more experienced Language teachers across the hall, and I was very relieved to see the two new ladies start directing their many questions towards them instead of me. It's not that I'm not willing to help. I just barely know what to expect myself. Last time I did this, it was minute by minute survival. I'm just trying to make sure I have a slightly more sophisticated plan this time.

I was blown away by all of the things that are in place to keep things running smoothly and make sure everyone's on the same page. It's a welcome change for me. Let's just hope they actually employ these things consistently. If they do, it might actually be a good place to work.

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Of course I have to say something about the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis yesterday. I was watching the new right after it happened, but they didn't have much to report other than the fact that it had collapsed.

Today I heard several different radio stations and tv stations report this same basic story.

Minnesota officials were warned as early as 1990 that the bridge that plummeted into the Mississippi River was "structurally deficient," yet they relied on a strategy of patchwork fixes and stepped-up inspections.

It's one thing when a catastrophe happens due to circumstances that nobody could have known about. But when people don't take warnings seriously and/or do their jobs thoroughly, and people die as a result, I think they need to be punished. Severely.

When I was watching the breaking news on this story yesterday, the phone rang...

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Yesterday, my mother called. She almost never calls unless I haven't spoken to her in a week or more, so when I saw her name on the caller i.d., I thought she needed something. Then when I heard her voice, I knew something was wrong. Sometimes you can just tell. Her voice sounded exactly like the day she told me Big Bird, my long time loyal talking pet parakeet, had passed on to the bird cage in the sky.

She said that Aunt C and my gramma had been in a car wreck. When she said that, I swear I thought she was going to say one of them was dead. Then she said they were okay, but that they were still in the hospital. Then she said that Gramma was "talking and moving around." If the ability to talk is being considered a sign of okay-ness, how bad is it? I mean, that's what they say when someone was seriously injured, so it kinda scared me. It turned out that Aunt C was banged up, but wasn't admitted, and they were still looking Gramma over. She is 87, after all, so they wanted to make double sure nothing was broken. She'll be sore, but okay.

Aunt C was driving and somehow lost control of the car. When it stopped rolling, they were upside down. The rescuers pulled my gramma out through the windshield.

Am I glad nobody was hurt? Of course. If by "nobody" you mean Gramma.

Just kidding.

Sorta.

Labels: Aunt C, outrageous news, professional screw-ups, teacher life

Okay, so you know I've been dealing with these stupid plumbers. Every few days the main guy, John, tells me that the other guy, Joe, is going to be at my house the very next day. And every day they have a reason they weren't there. The rain, the high number of jobs they have, a broken van, an injured worker-- I've heard all of those and more. Occasionally, someone shows up, fails to make any progress, and says they'll have to do this or that or return later with this tool or that one.

So Monday I called him and told him it needs to get done this week because I have to return to work next Monday. He responded with, "Oh, it ain't gonna be next week-- it's gonna be tomorrow for sure!" Right. So the next day, he said someone would be here Wednesday. Wednesday, he said someone would be here Thursday. I got a little short with him on the phone on Wednesday. I'm tired of this horse crap. TIRED. I want this finished. It has been the theme of my life the last many months, and I want it out of the way before I go back to work. I don't want to have to deal with these jackasses anymore. On Monday I will have brand new jackasses to deal with. It's time for this particular jackass to realize his turn is up and move aside. Anyway, in keeping with tradition, Thursday he said someone would be here Friday.

Yesterday was Friday. TH was at work at the hospital, and I was arranging desks on the other side of town. I had my cell phone on and it showed that it had a signal inside the classroom. They usually call my cell, so I figured I'd just run home when they called. IF they called. I wasn't exactly holding my breath.

My room is near the main door to the building. Around 3:00, I was sitting next to the old teacher (while she showed me yet another form that I'm not going to remember) when the main doors flew open violently. We looked up, and there stood TH, huffing and puffing and obviously in a hurry.

Last time someone practically broke down a door to come tell me something, it was because my cousin had been in an awful wreck. So my first thought was that someone had died or been in a wreck or something. I should have known that any and all chaos in our life right now must be plumber related. He said the plumber was at the house and was on the clock and there was nobody there to let him in. My cell phone didn't ring when TH tried to call.

So I hauled butt home, only to find that the plumber hadn't even tried to call me because he was working outside and didn't need me. TH had called the plumbers from work on his break and found out they were at the house and freaked out thinking they were sitting in a truck in the driveway getting paid for nothing. In his defense, that doesn't seem to be out of the realm of possibility with these fellas.

Anyway, after digging a hole in my yard and doing a bunch of other crap (including giving us a $2,000 bill for the sewer work they already did) the guy decided we need to replace 60 feet of 2" pipe across the front yard. He says this trouble is because of something the first plumber did. The one who REALLY ripped us off. He said if we decide to sue that guy's company, he'll vouch that it's his fault and testify or whatever.

He's liable for all this. He's in jail right now, but we're seriously considering suing his employer. Very seriously considering it. We have a case, we can prove our case, and I'm sure we could recoup all this money. There have been several times in the past when I/we had grounds to sue someone, but neither of us ever has because we're not greedy people and nothing has ever really been so huge that we felt it was worth the trouble. In this case, I think it might be worth it.

Who could blame us??

Labels: Good Old Fashioned Bitchin', professional screw-ups, stupid people, this house is trying to kill me

Remember the school district I said was a long drive from here that offered me a job? The principal is the one who called and asked me what I had been wearing at my interview, because she wasn't sure she had the right person. Yeah, those nutsos. (One of the posts I wrote about it is here.)

If you recall, I never officially accepted the position but their central office called and told me I had been recommended anyway. The principal offered me the job, told me to let her know if I wanted it, and the very next day I got a call from someone at the superintendent's office saying she was writing my contract and needed to verify how long I've been teaching. I wanted some time to pursue another job, so I told her I wouldn't be able to come sign the contract for two weeks. She said, "There's nothing to sign. The job is yours." That made no sense to me. Teachers work under contract. There most certainly is something to sign.

I never really wanted this position, especially once I met the principal. When they were the first to offer me a job, I put them on the back burner while I stirred the other pots. Comprende?

When I finally secured the job that I did want (which also happens to not be 75 miles away), I tried to call the principal of the other school to tell her I had accepted a position elsewhere. I left two messages to tell the principal that I needed to speak with her about the position. She never called back. I tried calling the personnel lady at the central office, but she didn't call back either.

After a couple of weeks had passed, I assumed they had probably given the job to someone else--- and if they didn't? Tough. My butt is covered. If hers is feeling particularly exposed, she might try to return a phone call.

Welllllllll...............today I received a letter from their central office. It congratulated me on my new position with their district, and informed me that I was required to attend a new teacher orientation session a couple of weeks from now.

I immediately sat down and wrote a letter explaining that I had attempted to contact them several times, and that I had accepted another position, and I faxed it to them right away.

I wonder if I'll hear anything back. Someone's gonna be pissed when they realize it's July 10 and they've got an empty position that they thought was filled. I never signed a contract, but I did sign a letter of intent when I applied for the job. Still, it's not binding. My biggest concern is that they're going to try to say I was committed. I'm worried about that because the lady said, "There's nothing to sign" when I mentioned the contract. How can there be nothing to sign? They're notoriously incompetent. I hope they're not also shady enough to try to wreck my reputation or claim I signed something.

Ah well. I'm sure I'm being silly. Considering the number of incompetent people I have encountered at various district offices across this state, I'm sure this happens all the time. It's one more example to support my theory that the problems with the educational system in this state really lie with the administrators and their supporting staff-- not the teachers.

Labels: Bureaucratic Incompetence, professional screw-ups, teacher life

The various vultures of this world work so hard at ripping my flesh off that I occasionally have to dedicate an entire day to beating them back with a stick. Today is turning out to be one of those days.

My insurance company still hasn't paid a claim that was filed in February. I had a pap smear. They say they're not paying it because I have a pre-existing condition. I had a pap smear. That's the only thing on the claim. It's a routine annual exam. Having a vagina is like having a car-- you have to take it in for an oil change every 3000 miles. It's in the manual. So I have been trying to explain to them that unless having a vagina counts as a pre-existing condition, their reason for denying the claim is bunk.

Of course you can never solve a problem by talking to one person, or one vulture entity. You have to talk to several different companies, piece the bullsh*t together, and try to figure out a solution on your own, since they can't manage it even though it's their 9 to 5 job, not yours.

So the first person I talked to at the insurance company sounded like a young girl. I was frustrated, because this is the third time I've had to call them about this, and I've done everything they've asked me to do and they're still not paying the claim. After ten minutes of listening to b.s., I raised my voice slightly and told the girl that they were just giving me the same excuse over and over again. She decided to put me in my place. This pisses me off-- when some little girl in some nothing job decides that she's gonna flex her muscles and put me in my place. First of all, you don't yell at me, Little Girl says firmly. For the record, I didn't yell at her at all. I barely raised my voice, and only raised it after five minutes of trying to explain something to her that should have been on her computer screen in black and white. Basically the don't yell at me thing is just another avoidance tactic that they're trained to use, in my opinion, so as soon as they use it on me I just say, Your supervisor, please.

Her supervisor was only slightly less mentally challenged than she was, but at least she understood what I was saying, even though the solution was a non-solution.

After that, I had to call vulture number two-- the doctor's office. They have been told three times to re-file the claim with a different code. They claim they've done it all three times, but the insurance company says they're not getting it. My biggest question is this: Why the hell am I the one who has to run back and forth between the two? I don't understand what either one is doing, and making me the go-between girl only further complicates and confuses the matter. The doctor's office files the claim with the insurance company, so why can't the insurance company call them if there's a problem? Because of the fine print that says I'm responsible for the charges if I can't find my way through the bureaucratic kudzu maze, that's why. They've got every reason to make it complicated-- because if I get frustrated and decide to "just pay it," they win. And the doctor's office could care less who pays, as long as someone pays, so they have no reason to help me out. They're all working together to rip me off, I tell ya.

There's a third vulture in this clusterf*ck, and that's Forrest General Hospital. I don't even know why the hell they're the ones sending me the bill and threatening me. They are the employer. The doctor I saw isn't even through them. He's in a separate organization across the street. They do work with that organization (Forrest General makes sure they get lots of business by requiring all of their employees to use them), but if I owe anyone money, shouldn't it be the doctor who saw me?

I'll admit I'm confused-- they've successfully made my eyes cross. But they will NOT get me to just pay it. I've been known to fight this kind of bunk for years. I even win one every once in a while.

Labels: Bureaucratic Incompetence, professional screw-ups, stupid people