In April of 2005, I started this here project from my mother's basement. I was going through some major life changes myself at the time. Having recently graduated from college and been fired from my first full time job-- in that order-- I decided to put my English degree to some use and start teaching. In the four years since then, DeadpanAnn has chronicled my life's journey, which has involved lots of changes. I have gone from unemployed basement blogger/wannabe teacher to employed non-basement blogger/actual teacher, from single to married, from childlessness to motherhood, from Nesbit to Yazoo Shitty to Hattiesburg, from teaching "at risk" kids to teaching "smarty pants" kids, from wanting to teach to teaching to being a stay at home mom. You get the picture.
At one point I had a remarkable number of loyal readers, but I was always a little nervous about who might be reading. Then one day I checked StatCounter and saw that someone at the Mississippi Dept of Ed was frequenting the blog, and that was the beginning of the end. I moved several times, and only a few of you managed to keep track. I became increasingly cautious, and the content of my posts became increasingly boring. I stopped caring as much, and the frequency of my posts as well as the quality of the writing has gone downhill. These days I'm sometimes embarrassed of what I've written when I go back and read a post that was never proofread before it was posted. It's moments like that when I consider shutting it down. I used to obsess over making sure my punctuation and grammar were perfect, that I had made the best word choice, and that the overall flow of a post was clear. Maybe a few years of reading 8th graders' essays has conditioned me to overlook more. Whatever it is, it bothers me, and I want it to change. Writing is the only thing I can do well, and here I am sucking at it.
Recently I've been struggling to respark the old flame, but I'm just not feeling it. I think part of my problem is that I'm no longer the bitch I used to be. I'm just not an angry basement blogger anymore, nor am I a teacher blogger at present. I'm more like a mommy blogger right now, and that's okay.
I considered giving it up, but I think the real end of blogging for me is still a ways off in the future. I enjoy writing about the things that happen in my life, however boring or interesting they may be during any given period. At some point, probably around the time I return to the classroom, things will take a turn back to Interestingville and the number of readers will increase again. Until then, a few of you will get some enjoyment out of whatever I do write, and I'll be grateful for the comments, however sparse.
So instead of hanging it up, I'm just going to accept the change and create a new blog. It will have the same address, but a new look, and I am considering a new name as well. The problem is that I can't think of an appropriate name. If you have any suggestions...
I have no idea when I'll do this. I've started to do it several times. Each time, I either changed my mind about the name and/or look I want, or just ran out of time to work on it and ended up scrapping it. I don't have the time to spend hours in front of the computer like I used to, so I need to have most of my ideas in order before I start.
Tomorrow I'll give you a fresh post. Until then, I'll be brainstorming for blog names and hoping you have some suggestions that will inspire me.