Something Finally Revolves Around ME
I forgot to submit my 9 weeks test and answer sheets for copying yesterday, so I'm sitting here watching the 200-300 pages soak up the ink in my personal printer. I also forgot to make sure I had some clean clothes for work today, so I'm washing clothes too. Clothing is a little short right now, what with me being my own planet and all.
For a long time, I was concerned about not looking pregnant. Not anymore. I would ask Tim if I looked pregnant, and he'd say, "Yeah, sure." That never sounded convincing enough, so I would press on.
So I don't really look pregnant?
Yeah I can tell you're pregnant.
But other people might not?
They should.
So what you're really saying is that I'm so fat that I can successfully hide an 8 month old fetus.
[Tim begins bashing head against wall.]
Last night, the conversation went like this:
Do I look pregnant now?
Yes.
Like, super pregnant?
Yeah, super pregnant--- Pregnant beyond belief!
Pregnant beyond your wildest pregnant dreams?
Ann, you're so pregnant, smaller pregnant women are in orbit around you!
And then I laughed so hard I peed on myself a little. Okay, a lot. It was strangely satisfying. Being compared to a planet, that is, not peeing on myself.
For a long time, I was concerned about not looking pregnant. Not anymore. I would ask Tim if I looked pregnant, and he'd say, "Yeah, sure." That never sounded convincing enough, so I would press on.
So I don't really look pregnant?
Yeah I can tell you're pregnant.
But other people might not?
They should.
So what you're really saying is that I'm so fat that I can successfully hide an 8 month old fetus.
[Tim begins bashing head against wall.]
Last night, the conversation went like this:
Do I look pregnant now?
Yes.
Like, super pregnant?
Yeah, super pregnant--- Pregnant beyond belief!
Pregnant beyond your wildest pregnant dreams?
Ann, you're so pregnant, smaller pregnant women are in orbit around you!
And then I laughed so hard I peed on myself a little. Okay, a lot. It was strangely satisfying. Being compared to a planet, that is, not peeing on myself.
Get used to the whole peeing on self thing.
Posted by Anonymous | 12:13 PM
Loves it!
But on another note, laughter is the elixir of the soul! I thus hope you have been enjoying my "Crap Joke Wednesday" specialties :-)
Posted by Anonymous | 8:50 PM
Damnyank, NO, I won't get used to that. If something's jacked up after the birth that's causing me to piss myself, I'll go find a surgeon who'll fix it.
Rachel, oh yeah, I've certainly gotten a few laughs out of Crap Joke Wednesday :)
Posted by Mommy Needs a Xanax | 6:16 AM
Just wait until tomorrow's installation then, it's my favourite thus far! (Aside from the doorbell repairman of course)
Posted by Anonymous | 10:59 PM