Shop your blues away.
My plan to go visit my mom tomorrow has been squashed for now. Everyone up there is sick. I called her tonight to let her know I'd be there in the morning, and she's got a bad cold. Ryan has some kind of sinus infection, Olivia is spewing neon colored snot, and Chris has spent the last 24 hours sitting on a toilet with his head in a garbage can. Of course, Tim is sick too, so I'm not sure how much safer it is here. But at least here the germs are local. Unlike those exotic North Mississippi germs. And I guess I'm kind of obligated to breathe in Tim's germs without too much complaining. I just hope he remembers it when I'm stitched from butthole to belly button and have only slept 3 minutes in the last 7 nights. Cause I'm gonna need some care takin'. I've never considered myself a major wimp, but I have a feelin' this is gonna be the true test of my ability to take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Before it's over I'll probably wish I'd just takin' a lickin' and left it at that.
Oh my. That seemed less inappropriate before I typed it.
Today's itinerary included such exciting events as cleaning out the filthy mess under the bathroom sinks, and putting down shelf liners so the funkiness on the floor of the cabinets is hidden. But I didn't get either of those fun things done. Instead I sorta wasted the entire day. I did go to the mall to get some new cologne for Tim, who did not particularly care for my last choice, Vera Wang. Although his wang did smell delicious, he said he wanted something new. So I got something new. I can't think of the name of it now. It's new, you know. But I think he'll like it. He better. It was fifty bucks.
I also bought a nice pointy hoe, since someone won't buy me a gas powered edger, and SOMETHING's got to be done about the fact that the flower beds are now one with the rest of the yard. And I bought some trivets, so that I can use my pot holders as pot holders instead of setting hot stuff on top of them. And I bought a very beautiful pink gerbera daisy that is sure to make me smile at least once before I head off to ten hours of hell every morning for the next two months. I WILL have pretty flowers this summer. I don't care if they only live for a few months, then die. I want pretty flowers, and the pretty ones are the ones that live for one season and then croak. The ones that come back again the next year are never as pretty. And I'm planting a Dogwood tree this year. Maybe three or four. I love those. All we have in the yard are some pines that someone actually planted intentionally. Planting pines in your yard in South Mississippi is kinda like...like...like planting a cactus in your yard in Arizona, I guess. Except cacti are prettier. Pines are sorta abundant here in the "Pine Belt." Who'da thunk it? Maybe I'll plant a Magnolia. Yeah. A Magnolia and some Dogwoods.
I also got a purse that was on clearance for $7 but rang up for $4 at the register. And a new meat thermometer cause my old one crapped out and the only one we have is so slow that by the time it gives you the internal temp, it's twenty degrees below what it probably was when you first wanted to know. And a cute little bib that has a cow on it, and the word, "Mooooooooooooo!" Cause cows say "Moooooooooooo!" And because I had to buy something baby related. I also bought myself a brand spankin' used copy of Madden 2007 for my XBOX, which is now so outdated that you can't even find many used games for it anymore. I'm a tad bit disappointed because it turned out that Madden 2007 is almost 100% identical to Madden 2006 and I could've kept my $14.99 and put it in a fund for a new gaming system.
Later when I realized that I'd done all that shopping but still had nothing to cook for dinner, I went to the devil's playground. While in the devil's playground I got so sleepy that I think I dozed off in the bread aisle.
Then I came home and burned some stuff, which has become my new weekend hobby.
In other news, Tim works with a bunch of twats. Spineless, gossiping, backstabbing, douchebag twats. And he has actually managed to maintain his unwavering work ethic in the face of their assholism. I can't get through fourth period without pondering the futility of it all if I have two bad days in a row. Give me a bad week and I'll show you how to use a sick day. Now I'm kinda wishing I'd let those build up. Karma's a bitch. But not nearly as big a bitch as the bitches that Tim tolerates.
I'm gonna go clean out the mess under the bathroom sinks. Hope nothing bites me.
Oh my. That seemed less inappropriate before I typed it.
Today's itinerary included such exciting events as cleaning out the filthy mess under the bathroom sinks, and putting down shelf liners so the funkiness on the floor of the cabinets is hidden. But I didn't get either of those fun things done. Instead I sorta wasted the entire day. I did go to the mall to get some new cologne for Tim, who did not particularly care for my last choice, Vera Wang. Although his wang did smell delicious, he said he wanted something new. So I got something new. I can't think of the name of it now. It's new, you know. But I think he'll like it. He better. It was fifty bucks.
I also bought a nice pointy hoe, since someone won't buy me a gas powered edger, and SOMETHING's got to be done about the fact that the flower beds are now one with the rest of the yard. And I bought some trivets, so that I can use my pot holders as pot holders instead of setting hot stuff on top of them. And I bought a very beautiful pink gerbera daisy that is sure to make me smile at least once before I head off to ten hours of hell every morning for the next two months. I WILL have pretty flowers this summer. I don't care if they only live for a few months, then die. I want pretty flowers, and the pretty ones are the ones that live for one season and then croak. The ones that come back again the next year are never as pretty. And I'm planting a Dogwood tree this year. Maybe three or four. I love those. All we have in the yard are some pines that someone actually planted intentionally. Planting pines in your yard in South Mississippi is kinda like...like...like planting a cactus in your yard in Arizona, I guess. Except cacti are prettier. Pines are sorta abundant here in the "Pine Belt." Who'da thunk it? Maybe I'll plant a Magnolia. Yeah. A Magnolia and some Dogwoods.
I also got a purse that was on clearance for $7 but rang up for $4 at the register. And a new meat thermometer cause my old one crapped out and the only one we have is so slow that by the time it gives you the internal temp, it's twenty degrees below what it probably was when you first wanted to know. And a cute little bib that has a cow on it, and the word, "Mooooooooooooo!" Cause cows say "Moooooooooooo!" And because I had to buy something baby related. I also bought myself a brand spankin' used copy of Madden 2007 for my XBOX, which is now so outdated that you can't even find many used games for it anymore. I'm a tad bit disappointed because it turned out that Madden 2007 is almost 100% identical to Madden 2006 and I could've kept my $14.99 and put it in a fund for a new gaming system.
Later when I realized that I'd done all that shopping but still had nothing to cook for dinner, I went to the devil's playground. While in the devil's playground I got so sleepy that I think I dozed off in the bread aisle.
Then I came home and burned some stuff, which has become my new weekend hobby.
In other news, Tim works with a bunch of twats. Spineless, gossiping, backstabbing, douchebag twats. And he has actually managed to maintain his unwavering work ethic in the face of their assholism. I can't get through fourth period without pondering the futility of it all if I have two bad days in a row. Give me a bad week and I'll show you how to use a sick day. Now I'm kinda wishing I'd let those build up. Karma's a bitch. But not nearly as big a bitch as the bitches that Tim tolerates.
I'm gonna go clean out the mess under the bathroom sinks. Hope nothing bites me.
