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Saturday, February 09, 2008 

Confessions of an American Ice Cream Eater

Today I ate the biggest ice cream cone I have ever seen, ever. Tim was taking a nap, and I had a hankering for something sweet. I drove to the Dairy Queen, which is like ten miles from here. There were plenty of other places for me to get ice cream closer, but I felt like driving. I told the girl in the speaker that I wanted a chocolate dipped vanilla ice cream cone. She asked what size. There are different sizes? "Uh...large."

And it WAS! It was so large that I was a little embarrassed as they handed it to me out the window, what with the fact that it took two people to maneuver it through the small opening. So large that I could barely eat it before it began to melt and run its sweet sticky goodness down my hands and between my fingers. So large that when I got back home I had to sit in the car for a good five minutes to polish it off before I went inside.

Then I got sleepy and crashed Tim's nap. It was nice sleeping with his arms wrapped lovingly around my belly full of delicious ice cream. Then I woke up with a stomach ache. Not so much fun, the stomach ache. Looks like that giant ice cream cone is gonna cause some chaos on its way through the plumbing.

The kid who called me ugly last week was standing out on the road today with a group of people holding signs. They were having a car wash. I drove by in my mud-covered automobile, and waved. Karma's a bitch. That'll learn her!

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Suck it.

Your blog ate my comment, much like an oversized not-really-ice-cream Dairy Queen cone. So I'll try again.

In reference to your Woody comment:
Aww. Whatever happened to 'Go to hell, you f---ing m-----f---er!'? I was SO trying to start a new catch phrase.

And for the Ugly-Caller:
When will these kids ever learn? WE always win!

You could have made her wash your dirty car, called attention to every little spot she missed, and paid her in nickels and dimes! Then she would have called you ugly AND cheap.

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