DeadpanAnn (old blogger version)

Today I had a workshop at USM. I arrived on campus at 7:50 armed with my parking pass and began making my way through the maze of construction and chaos in search of a spot to park. After going down several one-way roads, finding nothing, and having to loop halfway around the world to get back where I started, I was late for my meeting and started getting flustered. (You know, that so rarely happens to me.) I finally noticed a sign that said, "Visitor and Event parking," and swooped in for the kill. I looped through the lot eagerly, only to find that every single spot was taken. On the very back row, there was a yellow rope blocking off an entire section of spots. There were two men in blue workshirts putting up another yellow rope nearby, so I rolled down my window, explained what I was there for, and asked if there was any parking for us. The one with the cigarette said sarcastically, "It's right there behind you. You drove by it twice." I said, "Behind that rope? You mean I can ignore those things?" HA there's your sarcasm, bitch. Don't fuck with the master. Smoky removed his Newport from his mouth, laughing, and said, "You get out of the car, take it down, and then park." He stuck his cig back in his mouth and kept working. On his job. For the parking department. Asshole. So I got out of the car, grabbed the yellow rope, and yanked it. The metal thingies that were holding it up on either side toppled to the pavement with a satisfying clang. I got back in the car and parked on top of the rope, tossed my almighty parking pass onto the dash, then went to my teacher meeting.

The parking department continues to mock me, even 3 years after graduation.