DeadpanAnn (old blogger version)

Four days ago, I mentioned to a friend that we wanted someone to get rid of the pine straw and leaves in our yard, and asked if she knew anyone who wanted to make $100. She said her 16 year old son wanted to do it. I told her to tell him it was a big job, would take a whole day or maybe two, would put some blisters on his hands, and that I wanted it done right. He still wanted the job.

When he got here, the first thing he did after looking over the yard (which he'd seen before, btw) was say he wanted $150 instead of $100. Turd. So I told him I'd give him $130, and he agreed. I went inside, and he went to raking. Thirty minutes later, he knocked on the door and said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. Then I didn't hear from him for 4 days, so I thought he wasn't coming back. To be honest, the whole getting sick thirty minutes into the job thing reeked of this is more work than I thought it would be and now I want out of it.

Last night, his mother called and said he'd be back this morning. I told her he didn't have to do it if he didn't want to. She said, "He said he wants to do it." Then this morning, she called and asked if he could just burn the pine straw instead of hauling it off. I told her no, because I'd already tried that. Pine straw seems like it would burn quickly, but it doesn't, as I found out one day about 2 months ago. I set fire to a very small pile of straw, and it burned for hours. Every time I thought it was out, I'd rake over it to spread it out and it'd flame back up. It just burned and burned. I couldn't imagine the kid setting fire to ALL the pine straw that was out there, because it was 3 acres worth. He'd either have three dozen little fires burning allllll day long (and leaving 3 dozen little burn spots in my yard) or he'd have one giant, out-of-control fire that would burn allllll day long, and no doubt keep him out there longer than he wanted to be out there. So anyway, I told her that, and she said they were gonna see if a farm supply near here wanted to buy the straw by the truck load.

The kid went out there and raked until about 2:00 p.m., then came and knocked on the door. He said, "I don't have anywhere to take this straw, so I'm just gonna leave it and you can burn it."


Uh, I think not, bubba.


I said, "I thought you were going to get rid of it." He said, "I don't have anywhere to take it so my mom just told me to tell you to burn it."

A thousand things flew through my mind, starting with, "I'm not paying your MOM," and ending with, "Well if you did half the job you're only getting half the money." Since I was feeling a vein bulge in my neck, I decided to think it over before giving my official response. I shut the door and sat on the couch.

Since he deferred to his mother, I decided to call her. I told her that if he wasn't going to haul the stuff off like I wanted, he should've said so before I agreed on a price. I told her I wasn't going to spend $130 to still have a yard full of pine straw. She said they'd take care of it.

Next time I looked out the window, the kid was gone, and I haven't seen him since.