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Wednesday, December 17, 2008 

I can't think of a title for this that doesn't sound completely corny, so screw it.

Today I went to the English department's Christmas party, and afterwards I was able to go into a few classes and talk to my now-former students. I told them that it looks like I'm not going to be coming back in January, told them why, and told them that I wanted to come back but can't. It was sad. A lot of them spoke up and said they really wanted me to come back and had been looking forward to it. A few got up and hugged me. Several cried. I broke down and wept like a child.

It was hard. Harder than I thought it would be. But I'm glad I had the chance to tell them myself, and even though I second guessed my decision the whole way home, I know I'm doing the right thing. I have to be, right?

I put up with a lot of crap and more than a few kids who wouldn't have pissed on me if I'd caught fire before I got to the point where I would actually be missed. It's hard to walk away from it mid-year, and I hope I don't have to start completely over when I go back in a few years.

I think you are doing the right thing. It is not easy... be glad you have the opportunity to make that choice too. I stayed home with both my boys - I won't lie - it was lonely at times but our family life was nice compared to a lot of our friends who were stressed out all the time trying to get everything done. I would do it all over again.

Those early days pass so fast, and he will change so much, you will be glad you were there to see each thing.

Julie, I know it would be super chaotic trying to work and run things here, so I'm glad I won't have to deal with that.

DY, I can't imagine missing anything-- not even a poopy diaper.

Well, maybe one poopy diaper. But I can't imagine someone else changing it, if that makes sense. I really, really, reallllly very strongly dislike the idea of someone else caring for him. (not counting Tim) It's weird.

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