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Thursday, May 29, 2008 

Off Guard

I've been lazy. For the last six months I looked forward to the freedom and relaxation that May 23 would bring, and once it arrived I didn't know what to do with it. The first few days were great, but by the end of Tuesday I was bored.

Pathetic, I know.

What have I been doing? Well, let's see. I did have that doctor's appointment Tuesday, and I've done a bit of cleaning and way more cooking than usual. I've also taken a nap every day except yesterday, and when I say nap I don't mean thirty minute snooze-- I mean power naps. They start shortly after 4:00 and go until 7:00. Yesterday I didn't feel much need for a nap at all, and today's nap was a half hour snooze, so maybe I just needed some rest once the school year was over.

I also refilled the hummingbird feeders, burned a small pile of trash, went for a motorcycle ride, spent a bunch of time playing online, registered for summer professional development, ate some crawfish, bought a new purse, and grew out of my bras.

Being pregnant is a lot like puberty in that your boobs get bigger and your body starts doing unpredictable things, most of which are unpleasant. Today I went to the mall because I wanted to buy a new purse and see if I could find any maternity clothes and/or bras. I found a purse almost immediately, and as I was making my way back out of the department store I suddenly felt very sick to my stomach. As I mentally planned the quickest route to the bathroom, I wished I was anywhere besides the mall. There's only one bathroom in the whole place, and it's in the middle of the food court. So with my churning stomach I had to make my way past the pizza place, the cheesesteak place, the Chic-Fil-A, a McDonald's, and the Chinese place where they chase you down with little pieces of very fragrant red colored mystery meat on toothpicks, shouting "You try! You try!"

Once I was safely past the olfactory offenders and into the bathroom, I went straight to the handicapped stall. It's the farthest from the door and I thought I might need some, uh, space, if you know what I mean. As soon as I stepped out of the stall, I nearly tripped over a handicapped woman in a wheelchair. Oops. First time that's ever happened, and it made me feel like a dick.

After that, I wanted to continue perusing through stores in search of clothes, but I was suddenly drained of energy, so I came home and had my half hour snooze.

When I got up, I decided to make more black bean soup. I made it a few days ago and it wreaked havoc on my digestive system, but it was soooooo gooooood that I had to have more! I settled onto the couch with a bowl of soup in hand, braless in my pajamas, when much to my horror there was a knock at the door.

Nobody ever knocks on our door, so I thought the dogs must have gotten loose and torn into someone's trash. It was the neighbor from across the street-- the one with the John Deere basketball goal. She wanted to know if she could have some pine straw from our yard. We've got it raked into piles that we're waiting to burn. I don't even remember the words that came out of my mouth while I was talking to her because I was too busy hoping she didn't notice that I was braless, or that I had clearly been in bed in the middle of the day. Too bad I don't look pregnant yet. That would've been a nice excuse for such laziness.

The school called today and played a recording to inform me that the "extended school year" would begin June 4 and continue to June 26, and will last from 8:30 to noon each day. That pisses me off. It undermines everything teachers do during the school year. I'm telling you, a kid has to really work hard to fail. I mean they have to absolutely not give a damn. The system makes it so hard on teachers when we fail students that it's a lot easier to let them scrape by with D's than it is to give them a well deserved F.

This year, I awarded eight students with the F's they worked for. Approximately 10 others deserved F's that they didn't get. So those eight kids were special, and I don't mean short bus special. Their performance in my class was equivalent to standing with both middle fingers up for ten months. That's all I could get out of them. But it doesn't matter at all. In three weeks of half days, they can get the credit they need to go on to the next grade. And they don't even have to call it "summer school." It's the "extended school year."

When I was in school, it was summer school. It was an embarrassment if you had to go. It lasted two months, cost $250 to register, and lasted until 2:00. It was easier to just pass the regular school year.

Extended school year. Horse crap!

Thanks for giving me this important advice. Your advice helped me in my pregnancy day. I really like your blog please share useful advice like this. Thanks for sharing.
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