Mean Teacher gets peeped on
Last night I spent a lot of time sitting on my bed next to an open window with my books and materials spread out in front of me, and my laptop whirring in my lap. Lesson plans. I worked for about two hours, wrote about half my plans for the week, and then cleared off the bed and got ready to go to sleep. While I was working, I thought I heard something outside the window, but decided I was being paranoid.
I started to close the window, but it was cool outside, and I thought it'd be nice to keep the AC off and take advantage of the weather. I laid down on the bed with the light still on, and I heard foot steps outside the window. It sounded like a person walking-- not an animal. The steps were in twos, and they were slow, deliberate steps, and they came right up to my window. I held my breath and listened. I heard it again. Some leaves have fallen, and the grass is kinda crunchy, and it was a crystal clear sound. I looked over toward the window, and as soon as I did, I heard the steps move away from the window much more quickly than they'd come up to it. I jumped up and slammed the window shut and locked it and dropped the blinds. I grabbed the phone and got the hell out of that room.
First, I called TH at work. He said to call the police, so I did. They came out and looked around, but of course they didn't find anything. I felt like a total tool, and I felt like they thought I was just a paranoid woman, but they looked all over our property and didn't try to make me feel stupid or anything. They said they'd ride by a few times during the night, and told me to call back if I heard anything else.
TH came home from work an hour early, and I didn't relax until he got here. I know someone was outside that window. I didn't see them, but I heard them. A deer or other wild animal wouldn't have come up that close to the house, and the dogs were locked up inside. Besides, all of those things have four legs. This had two.
The shotgun is loaded.
I started to close the window, but it was cool outside, and I thought it'd be nice to keep the AC off and take advantage of the weather. I laid down on the bed with the light still on, and I heard foot steps outside the window. It sounded like a person walking-- not an animal. The steps were in twos, and they were slow, deliberate steps, and they came right up to my window. I held my breath and listened. I heard it again. Some leaves have fallen, and the grass is kinda crunchy, and it was a crystal clear sound. I looked over toward the window, and as soon as I did, I heard the steps move away from the window much more quickly than they'd come up to it. I jumped up and slammed the window shut and locked it and dropped the blinds. I grabbed the phone and got the hell out of that room.
First, I called TH at work. He said to call the police, so I did. They came out and looked around, but of course they didn't find anything. I felt like a total tool, and I felt like they thought I was just a paranoid woman, but they looked all over our property and didn't try to make me feel stupid or anything. They said they'd ride by a few times during the night, and told me to call back if I heard anything else.
TH came home from work an hour early, and I didn't relax until he got here. I know someone was outside that window. I didn't see them, but I heard them. A deer or other wild animal wouldn't have come up that close to the house, and the dogs were locked up inside. Besides, all of those things have four legs. This had two.
The shotgun is loaded.
Jeepers, creepers! Where'd ya get that peeper? The worst I've had is a heavy breather on the phone. Which didn't scare me, it just interrupted my sleep late at night. I even knew who it was. His girlfriend told me she kept telling him to stop, but she wasn't that effective. I started unplugging the phone from the wall at night, and he lost interest after about a month. Yep. I'm that old. It was in the day before cell phones.
Posted by
Hillbilly Mom |
4:59 PM
Step #1 - TURN OUT THE LIGHT!
That way, they can't see you as you are about to shoot them/ram a pitchfork into their eyes! There is usually more ambient light outside, so they are helpfully backlit to give you a good solid target to aim for.
Step #2 - Get rid of the shotgun and get a .22 pistol.
Shooting them in the head with a shotgun will make a big, gooey mess and will leave lots of stuff to clean up in your yard. A .22, however, will not come out of the back of their head and will not leave any horrid, nightmarish quality cleanup tasks.
Posted by
Mr Bates |
9:18 AM
Bates,
True about the lights. But I'm less likely to miss with the shotgun. Mess? That's someone else's problem.
Posted by
Mommy Needs a Xanax |
4:57 PM
Generally the sound of a shotgun being racked is enough to give any ne'er-do-well second (and third) thoughts. There's nothing else that sounds quite like it, and if you're on the business end of that sound, you're not going to have a good day.
If they're smart, you won't have to worry about cleaning up any messes. Then again, if they were smart in the first place, they wouldn't be on a field trip to your window.
Posted by
Stewed Hamm |
8:45 PM