The past, the present, and the stuff in between
The party I went to last night was fabulous. I don't know if it was really a good party, or if it just seemed that way to me because it's the only socialization I've had in a while-- unless you count standing in a bar where the band is so loud you can't hear yourself think. TH and I did that recently. Fun, fun!!!
Anyway, it was cool because all of the people I know from Hattiesburg were there. People I hadn't seen in a long time. People who I thought had left town or something.
Some of you long time readers may recall a friend of mine who had a blog called Hattiesblog. I think she uses TC as her screen name. It was her party. She got married yesterday. Actually, they got married a week ago by a JP at the jailhouse, but had a fake ceremony yesterday with their families. (How's that for an awesome wedding story? It involves a jail and a touch of deception-- I love it!)
Our anniversary is two weeks from today. I don't know why I'm excited about it. I already know that The Husband will be at work, and I'll be preparing to start work the very next day, so it's very unlikely that we'll be able to acknowledge the day in any way other than passing each other in the hallway and saying "Happy anniversary." We'll probably manage to celebrate in some way at some point. It's not the celebration that excites me, though. It's the idea that we've reached some kind of mile marker. I guess our upcoming anniversary combined with the experience of seeing so many old friends last night has me looking back on where I've been over the last few years. I realize that I'm happier now than I was five years ago or one year ago, and life feels....complete.
Almost. We still gotta reproduce at some point, but other than that, it feels complete. Way more complete than it felt when I was living alone in Hattiesburg and drinking retarded amounts of alcohol every day, or when I was in my mother's basement, or even when I lived in the cabin in the woods.
Maybe it's kinda pathetic that I'm 28 and I can just now say this, but for the first time I actually feel like I'm where I've been trying to go all this time. Everything in life has always been geared towards getting to something else. Getting out of my parents' house and into college. Getting out of college. Getting some kind of career going. I've always been trying to get to some unknown place, and that place has always been just over the horizon-- just out of sight-- just far enough away that I could barely touch it with my fingertips, but not quite grab a hold of it and pull myself the rest of the way there.
I'm here, and it's nice.
Anyway, it was cool because all of the people I know from Hattiesburg were there. People I hadn't seen in a long time. People who I thought had left town or something.
Some of you long time readers may recall a friend of mine who had a blog called Hattiesblog. I think she uses TC as her screen name. It was her party. She got married yesterday. Actually, they got married a week ago by a JP at the jailhouse, but had a fake ceremony yesterday with their families. (How's that for an awesome wedding story? It involves a jail and a touch of deception-- I love it!)
Our anniversary is two weeks from today. I don't know why I'm excited about it. I already know that The Husband will be at work, and I'll be preparing to start work the very next day, so it's very unlikely that we'll be able to acknowledge the day in any way other than passing each other in the hallway and saying "Happy anniversary." We'll probably manage to celebrate in some way at some point. It's not the celebration that excites me, though. It's the idea that we've reached some kind of mile marker. I guess our upcoming anniversary combined with the experience of seeing so many old friends last night has me looking back on where I've been over the last few years. I realize that I'm happier now than I was five years ago or one year ago, and life feels....complete.
Almost. We still gotta reproduce at some point, but other than that, it feels complete. Way more complete than it felt when I was living alone in Hattiesburg and drinking retarded amounts of alcohol every day, or when I was in my mother's basement, or even when I lived in the cabin in the woods.
Maybe it's kinda pathetic that I'm 28 and I can just now say this, but for the first time I actually feel like I'm where I've been trying to go all this time. Everything in life has always been geared towards getting to something else. Getting out of my parents' house and into college. Getting out of college. Getting some kind of career going. I've always been trying to get to some unknown place, and that place has always been just over the horizon-- just out of sight-- just far enough away that I could barely touch it with my fingertips, but not quite grab a hold of it and pull myself the rest of the way there.
I'm here, and it's nice.
Your blog today reminds me of the poem I'm sure you've read called "The Station."
Too many times, we are constantly searching for what is ahead and don't appreciate the now that we have. Since I'm starting to get "old" and realizing that I don't have an unlimited supply of days after all, I'm making a concerted effort to appreciate the little moments I have right now. I spent the last couple of days with my daughter, playing with my grandson, who just HAPPENS to be the brightest, cutest little boy ever, and thoroughly enjoyed just watching his amazement and wonder at the world around him. We lose so much of that joy as we muddle through life. As trite as it sounds, it is a gift to watch the wonder in a child's face when he touches a cat or a butterfly or watches a big truck go by on the highway and says "Vroom, vroom!" I don't think I even appreciated it as much when my daughter was little - we were always "too busy" to pay attention.
So, look around on your anniversary , count your blessings and say "Ahhhhh."
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:38 PM
Jailhouse wedding, eh? That'll sure shut people up at a party. Of course, it's not nearly as good as this, but then very few things are.
Posted by
Stewed Hamm |
12:49 AM
meanteacher ma'am,
i've been reading your blog for a short while and have to say, i'm a huge fan! :-) i've featured you today for my blog's weekly MO'LOVE MONDAY. hopefully you'll have a few drift in from my place to spread a little love. you're in the limelight today, so enjoy it!
Posted by
jac |
6:40 AM
Not pathetic at all. This coming from the woman who, at 34, decided to go to college and finally figured out what she wanted to do with her life. Nope, not pathetic at all.
I'm proud of you!
Posted by
Redneck Diva |
2:16 PM