My little pets
Let's talk about pet peeves. Okay, okay-- I'll talk, and you'll read.
Those of you who have been coming around for a while know how I used to cringe when someone would pee with the bathroom door open. I've gotten over that since I got married. It doesn't even bother me anymore. When my mom did it, it was nasty. When TH does it, which he rarely does, I pretend not to notice. At least he flushes, and he doesn't have conversations with our cats.
Today I have different pet peeves to discuss. A thing or two has rubbed me the wrong way today, and I need to get it off my chest. It's mostly things people have said. That, and people who PARK IN THEIR FREAKIN' YARDS!
Damn neighbors.
How about when you say you don't know where something is located, like where another town is, for example, and the person you're talking to says incredulously, "You know where that is!" (Then they tell you where it is anyway.) "You know where that is! It's down Hwy 11 past the YMCA!"
Well, now I know. Thanks for acting like I was a retard up until now.
Or when you say you want to do something, whether it be eat at a certain restaurant, watch a movie, take a class-- whatever. And the person says, "You don't want to do that." Or, "You're not going to like that."
One of us knows what I want to do, and I'm thinking it's not YOU, so stfu.
The worst is when someone opens their mouth to enlighten you with a philosophy that they have formed after .08 seconds of thought. In a recent discussion about local police officers writing lots of tickets for minor offenses like broken tail lights, an idiot opened his mouth and said the following: How about you just OBEY the stinkin' LAW, huh? I say if you're too cheap to buy a two dollar bulb and take ten seconds to screw it in, they should be able to write you a ticket and taser you, then beat you Rodney King style! You wouldn't have to worry about it if you just OBEY the stinkin' LAW!
The response I wish I had given? You, sir, are an idiot. I already know what you think about everything else, so don't bother telling me. Your philosophy on the war is that we need to bomb their stankin' asses ta kingdom come. Your plan for our broken educational system is something like Them teachers USED ta teach 'em stuff. Now they too busy teachin' em ta take care 'a trees an' shit! When it comes to child rearing, you say Positive reinfor--WHAT? If the boy steps outta line, I tear that ass up! Simple as that! And the world would be much safer if we shot all criminals on the spot, right?
Yeah, I thought so. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up. Talking that way when you're trying to be funny is one thing. The fact that it's how you really think...well, that's just sad.
In case you can't tell, I have had one of those "I SHOULD have said..." moments that happen five minutes after you have an argument with someone.
None of this was inspired by The Husband, by the way. Well, okay. He does tell me I know where things are when I say I don't, but that's the only one. It was a local idiot who decided the cops should beat people for having broken tail lights. I really hate his particular brand of redneck.
He's the kind of redneck the news camera always finds after the tornado comes through.
Those of you who have been coming around for a while know how I used to cringe when someone would pee with the bathroom door open. I've gotten over that since I got married. It doesn't even bother me anymore. When my mom did it, it was nasty. When TH does it, which he rarely does, I pretend not to notice. At least he flushes, and he doesn't have conversations with our cats.
Today I have different pet peeves to discuss. A thing or two has rubbed me the wrong way today, and I need to get it off my chest. It's mostly things people have said. That, and people who PARK IN THEIR FREAKIN' YARDS!
Damn neighbors.
How about when you say you don't know where something is located, like where another town is, for example, and the person you're talking to says incredulously, "You know where that is!" (Then they tell you where it is anyway.) "You know where that is! It's down Hwy 11 past the YMCA!"
Well, now I know. Thanks for acting like I was a retard up until now.
Or when you say you want to do something, whether it be eat at a certain restaurant, watch a movie, take a class-- whatever. And the person says, "You don't want to do that." Or, "You're not going to like that."
One of us knows what I want to do, and I'm thinking it's not YOU, so stfu.
The worst is when someone opens their mouth to enlighten you with a philosophy that they have formed after .08 seconds of thought. In a recent discussion about local police officers writing lots of tickets for minor offenses like broken tail lights, an idiot opened his mouth and said the following: How about you just OBEY the stinkin' LAW, huh? I say if you're too cheap to buy a two dollar bulb and take ten seconds to screw it in, they should be able to write you a ticket and taser you, then beat you Rodney King style! You wouldn't have to worry about it if you just OBEY the stinkin' LAW!
The response I wish I had given? You, sir, are an idiot. I already know what you think about everything else, so don't bother telling me. Your philosophy on the war is that we need to bomb their stankin' asses ta kingdom come. Your plan for our broken educational system is something like Them teachers USED ta teach 'em stuff. Now they too busy teachin' em ta take care 'a trees an' shit! When it comes to child rearing, you say Positive reinfor--WHAT? If the boy steps outta line, I tear that ass up! Simple as that! And the world would be much safer if we shot all criminals on the spot, right?
Yeah, I thought so. Do us all a favor and shut the hell up. Talking that way when you're trying to be funny is one thing. The fact that it's how you really think...well, that's just sad.
In case you can't tell, I have had one of those "I SHOULD have said..." moments that happen five minutes after you have an argument with someone.
None of this was inspired by The Husband, by the way. Well, okay. He does tell me I know where things are when I say I don't, but that's the only one. It was a local idiot who decided the cops should beat people for having broken tail lights. I really hate his particular brand of redneck.
He's the kind of redneck the news camera always finds after the tornado comes through.
I always wonder where they get those people. They always look like they crawled out from under a rock and haven't seen the sun in years.
MY personal favorite is when you say "I lost my...." whatever, billfold, car keys, etc., and some idiot will say "Where'd you lose 'em?" Excuse me, asshole, if I KNEW that, I'd have them in my hot little hands, now wouldn't I?
Or, if it's raining REALLY hard, which it hasn't done here in quite a while, and someone always says "Boy, it's really coming down out there." As opposed to what? Going up?
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Anonymous |
10:37 PM