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Thursday, May 17, 2007 

Quick post, because it's on my mind

Last night, I had a disturbing dream. The dream is disturbing mainly because it is very similar to a dream that I had in August of 2001. A dream so vivid that I can remember every detail to this day.

In August of 2001, I had just moved to Hattiesburg, and I was living in a dorm room. One night, I dreamt that I was at my old neighbor's house in Nesbit, which happened to be my childhood friend's grandmother's house. I regarded her as my own grandmother because I spent so much time there. She practically helped raise me along with a few other neighborhood kids, because she was the cool neighborhood gramma who always made us Kool Aid in the summer and let us sit under the air conditioner when ours wasn't working. Anyway, in the dream, I was at her house, which is at the front of a very large piece of land. I was standing on a hill by the house, watching a huge jet airplane that was flying overhead, smoking. I knew it was going to crash. It finally did crash in the pasture behind her house, about 200 yards from where I was standing. There was a huge fireball, and I could feel the heat, even at a distance. All I could think was Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened right in front of me!

I don't have any weird ideas about the meanings of dreams, but I do think that they can happen because of what's going on in our real lives. Usually, I can tell what caused mine. At the time, I thought the dream symbolized anxiety about being away from home and being on my own. You know, as in crash or burn time. Then a month later, after a few very famous plane crashes, it seemed creepy.

Last night, I dreamt that I was at my parents' place. There's a small barn at the back of their property, and I was in the barn with a bunch of people, attending a party that was being held in my honor. I don't know why there was a party for me, but it rocked, and there were some famous people there, including Nancy Grace. (If you're wondering why her name has made two appearances on my blog recently, it's because I'm watching the Phil Spector trial on t.v., so I'm seeing lots of her lately.) During the party, I was concerned about impressing these people for some reason. (Job interviews?) As everyone was getting ready to leave the celebrity barn party, we noticed a plane moving across the sky, smoking. This plane was smaller than the one in the first dream. This was one of those commuter jets that seat 15 or 20 people. It circled around for a while, and we thought it might make a safe landing. Then it started wobbling and crashed right where my parents' house would have been, except the house wasn't there in the dream for some reason. Again, a big fireball, and lots of heat. Lots of disbelief. A stunned Nancy Grace. A pile of smoking wreckage. When the plane blew up, I thought Someone died right then.

After it happened, everyone just sort of stood around for a while, then went about their business. It was like we had only witnessed a car wreck or something, and even though it was shocking it wasn't a huge deal and everyone just wandered to their cars and left.

Job hunt anxiety? More than likely.

Disturbing? Definitely.

I've mentioned on my blog that I have tornado dreams several times a week and have since I was a kid. All dream analysis stuff I've read says this indicates serious turmoil in your life. I'd like to think that a few times in my life have been turmoil- free, but obviously not.

I had a very disturbing dream last week about my sister and I know it's out of concern and that's all, but still...I don't like it when my dreams bug me like that.

I'm sure being in OK has plenty to do with the tornadoes, but that is still strange. I haven't had any that recur that frequently over such a long time, but I've always had dreams about men chasing me with guns. Haven't had one of those in a long time now.

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