Countdown.
Well, I'm still pregnant, my baby is still a giant, and my doctor is still hellbent on slicing me open like a damn pig. He doesn't want me to go more than a few days past my due date (next Friday) and he doesn't want to try to induce unless I begin to dilate this week. He said it would just lead to a c-section anyway unless I'm dilated some before trying to induce, so he'd rather "just nip it in the bud."
Sounds convenient. For him.
So he's going out of town for the seventy eleventh time since I got knocked up, and I have an appointment with his partner again. It's kind of a relief, honestly, because her hands are so very small. Maybe her tiny little fingers will judge my cervix to be a little less SLAMMED SHUT and a little more likely to cooperate. The plan is to check again next Thursday and see if anything's changed. If so, they'll try to induce, and if not, they'll do a c-section. He's on call Saturday and I'm supposed to call him that morning either way. He seemed to think it could happen fairly quickly after that-- from the way he talked, I think it might even happen the same day.
I'm skeered.
Sounds convenient. For him.
So he's going out of town for the seventy eleventh time since I got knocked up, and I have an appointment with his partner again. It's kind of a relief, honestly, because her hands are so very small. Maybe her tiny little fingers will judge my cervix to be a little less SLAMMED SHUT and a little more likely to cooperate. The plan is to check again next Thursday and see if anything's changed. If so, they'll try to induce, and if not, they'll do a c-section. He's on call Saturday and I'm supposed to call him that morning either way. He seemed to think it could happen fairly quickly after that-- from the way he talked, I think it might even happen the same day.
I'm skeered.
Don't give up hope. At the risk of writing a comment longer than your post, I will share my first-born story with you.
The doctor told me the baby looked to be around 11 pounds. No talk of C-section. I started labor the day before my due date, at 7:00 p.m. during The Simpsons, after riding around a bumpy Christmas tree field in a pick-up truck from 3:00 to 5:00. Every bump sent a shooting pain right through my pregnant parts. HH's comment was, "You ain't the first woman ever to have a baby."
After tracking down HH from a neighbor's house, and waiting for him to take a shower and pack a bag of spare underwear and snacks FOR HIMSELF, we arrived at the hospital at 10:30 p.m. I was told that by the time the anesthesiologist could be called in for an epidural, I would be too far dilated. So all I got was a shot of Stadol to be parsed out over the course of the night.
Oh, and did I mention that my labor slowed down, so they gave me Pitocin? Which is not something you really want to have, because it INTENSIFIES the contractions. At 9:00 a.m., the doctor said he would give me until 9:30 to push that baby out, or he was doing a C-section. At 9:24 on my due date, my #1 son arrived, sparing me the Big C. He was face-up, which is ass-backwards for a baby, which accounting for the slowing of the labor and the horrendous back pain that the Stadol didn't do much for.
So don't give up hope. You may not need the Big C. Oh, and my boy weighed 7 lb 14 oz. So much for the 11-pounder theory.
My sympathies if you are in the hospital on Halloween, because I had my surgery on Halloween a few years ago. You know, the surgery during which I WOKE UP and heard the nurses talking about me. But the point is...those hospital workers dress up on Halloween. And if you are given some drugs, and see those freaks, it is kind of discombobulating.
Posted by
Hillbilly Mom |
7:45 PM
Most hospital employees in Mississippi look scary enough WITHOUT costumes.........not to mention the fact that all the freaks come to the ER on Halloween - or when the moon is full.
Maybe you should just put a costume on your hoo-hah say trick or treat. Oooh! We could have a contest to choose the best costume.
I say you could paint eyes and a nose on your stomach, put a patch over one eye and go as a pirate.
Isn't this fun?
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:59 PM
You could trim her up a bit into a pointy goatee, and then paint a devil face around it...
Posted by
Stewed Hamm |
10:32 PM
I was induced both times - the first I had already started to dialate- the second we made an appointment to get induced... I hadn't even had one twinge of labor. I don't know why your Dr. thinks you would HAVE to have the C-Section if they started the induction.
It will all be fine - this is just the "OH SHIT this is IT!" part.
I liked everyone's costume ideas!
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:09 AM
HM, I'm doing all the things they say will help move the process along naturally, with the exception of drinking castor oil. What could be worse than being in labor and having the sh*ts at the same time????? I know they say first babies tend to come later, and this doc isn't gonna let me go but 1 day past my due date, so I really don't have much hope. I'll keep wishing and hoping. It could happen. Maybe he'll be super punctual, like your #1. It depends-- if he takes after Tim, he'll be here early. If he's more like me, he's not watching the clock and will get here when he gets here unless we evict.
DY and Stew-- Great ideas! But they'd probably charge extra for having to clean me off before starting the surgery. On Tim's FGH bill, there was something that said "Non prescription -- $53.50." The only non-rx. drug he got was a couple of Tylenol for a headache. Fifty three fifty. Can you believe that sheeet?
Julie, I don't know why he thinks that either. I think he's gonna make more money and doesn't care if this is what I want. And you're right, I'm definitely in "oh shit" mode right now. I'll get past it.
Posted by
Mommy Needs a Xanax |
8:51 AM
Not that it helps, I was a first-born. I was also about a month late - though this was obviously back in the days when births didn't have to be scheduled around tee times.
Granted, it's not a particularly great omen to be born under... I've rarely been on-time since then.
If you wanted to go high-concept on the costume for your lady bits, you should dress 'em up like Lindsey Lohan, or Brittney.
Or you could be completely crude, and do a Taco costume.
Posted by
Stewed Hamm |
11:07 AM
To save time (and extra charges on your hospital bill!), you could do a BALD Brittney. Not. That. Innocent.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:17 PM