Toilet or not Toilet? That is the Question.
There are two bathrooms in our house, and both have toilet issues right now. The porcelain base broke on the toilet in the master bathroom. I'm not saying how that happened, but let's just say someone likes to listen to his ipod while he does his business and I guess he got rockin' a little too much. (I kid. I have no idea how it got broken but I'm pretty sure it wasn't because Tim was rockin' and poopin' simultaneously.)
The other toilet has general toilet maintenance issues. You know how the bastards are. Everything's going fine, then one day you notice it takes it fifteen minutes to fill up. The jiggle-the-handle technique works for a few months, then loses its effectiveness. After that, it not only takes a long time to fill, but it makes a high-pitched squealing sound for the last 30 seconds of the filling process. Our response to that was not to fix it. Heavens no. We just stopped flushing it at night so as not to wake one another with the squealing. When the squealing got even worse, we didn't flush it in the day very often. Unflushed toilets are a MAJOR pet peeve of mine, so this was bad enough, but the squealing sound...God I just couldn't take the squealing sound, so I occasionally neglected to flush. I confess. Well one day a friend came over and immediately rushed back to the bathroom, and I was mortified to think of how much old piss might have been in there. My friend didn't say anything, but I couldn't look her in the eye after that. That's when I decided to fix the toilet.
After carefully observing the toilet's innards for a few flushes, I thought I had it figured out. I bought the new part and set about removing the old ones. Everything was going fine at first, but then...well...to make a long story short, I made it worse. Now the toilet doesn't squeal; it's completely unusable.
And did I mention that my parents are coming down this weekend? Lovely. The plumber is coming tomorrow to install the back toilet and hopefully fix the front toilet.
Did I also fail to mention that we still can't sleep on our brand new kick ass Sealy Posturepedic mattress? Tim is worried that if we sleep on it before they come trade the foundations on Saturday, they'll say they can't take them back because they've been used. So we're still bunking separately in the two extra bedrooms. Thankfully the new foundations will be here Saturday morning and my parents aren't coming until Saturday afternoon, so we won't have to sleep together in a too-soft queen size bed. We can leave that to the old folks.
Nineteen school days left.
The other toilet has general toilet maintenance issues. You know how the bastards are. Everything's going fine, then one day you notice it takes it fifteen minutes to fill up. The jiggle-the-handle technique works for a few months, then loses its effectiveness. After that, it not only takes a long time to fill, but it makes a high-pitched squealing sound for the last 30 seconds of the filling process. Our response to that was not to fix it. Heavens no. We just stopped flushing it at night so as not to wake one another with the squealing. When the squealing got even worse, we didn't flush it in the day very often. Unflushed toilets are a MAJOR pet peeve of mine, so this was bad enough, but the squealing sound...God I just couldn't take the squealing sound, so I occasionally neglected to flush. I confess. Well one day a friend came over and immediately rushed back to the bathroom, and I was mortified to think of how much old piss might have been in there. My friend didn't say anything, but I couldn't look her in the eye after that. That's when I decided to fix the toilet.
After carefully observing the toilet's innards for a few flushes, I thought I had it figured out. I bought the new part and set about removing the old ones. Everything was going fine at first, but then...well...to make a long story short, I made it worse. Now the toilet doesn't squeal; it's completely unusable.
And did I mention that my parents are coming down this weekend? Lovely. The plumber is coming tomorrow to install the back toilet and hopefully fix the front toilet.
Did I also fail to mention that we still can't sleep on our brand new kick ass Sealy Posturepedic mattress? Tim is worried that if we sleep on it before they come trade the foundations on Saturday, they'll say they can't take them back because they've been used. So we're still bunking separately in the two extra bedrooms. Thankfully the new foundations will be here Saturday morning and my parents aren't coming until Saturday afternoon, so we won't have to sleep together in a too-soft queen size bed. We can leave that to the old folks.
Nineteen school days left.
Labels: this house is trying to kill me
