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Wednesday, August 29, 2007 

Missipissy.

Yesterday I gave my first test. Tonight I graded it-- well, I graded all but one class. One of the perks of getting a good grade on a test in my class is that it gets you candy. Good candy, too, not that dollar-a-bag crap at Big Lots. If a kid gets a 90 or higher, they can choose any kind of candy bar they want. If they get a 95 or higher, they get any candy bar they want, plus any kind of coke they want. I told my kids to write their candy and drink choices at the tops of their papers, so that as I put their bright, shining 90+ on the page, I could make a note of what to buy them.

So far, I've graded about 60 tests out of 75. I'm currently out two Snickers bars and one Coke. Even if the policy was that you only needed an 80 to get a prize, I'd still be out fewer than five items total.

As I graded my first period's tests, I almost cried. Really. They were awful. First period is one of my double dose classes. They come to me for two hours because they failed the state test. So they're not always the sharpest knives, but they're capable. And they get twice the instruction. Four kids passed the test. The highest grade was a 76. The lowest was a 15-- but that child was pissed off when he took the test, and I think he just wrote crap down to be a jackass. He probably could've earned somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 had he not decided to shoot himself in the foot. (Boy he showed me, didn't he?) The class average was 62. Sixty two. It pained me to have to write such low numbers underneath their candy requests.

Their dentists would love me, if they had dentists. (Just kidding-- I'm sure they have (Medicaid) dentists.)

My second group of double dose was a little better. I didn't figure their average, but it was probably 70-74. No fifteens. There was an 82 and an 84, and I think those were the highest. The lowest was a 50.

Thank God for my seventh graders. They're not double dose, and they all passed the state test. They're what keeps me going. (Seriously, how long can a person go working their ass off to teach people something only to be slapped in the face with an average score of sixty freakin' two?)

I have two groups of seventh graders, and I have graded one group's tests. There's a 96 and a 91; these account for the two Snickers bars and the Coke. (She wrote "cola" on her paper. Around here, if you don't specify, you get a Coke.) Some of them did far better than I expected on most of the test, then bombed on the last five questions. I need to go back and look at those. Something was obviously up with them. I didn't write the test. I just follow the scope and sequence, teach on the right schedule, etc. In theory my kids should pass someone else's test if they've covered the skills on it. It bothers me that I don't get to write my own tests, because sometimes my slow classes don't get as far as my quick classes. The person who writes the test teaches accelerated. I understand that we want to raise the bar, but damn, I didn't get into commas yet-- barely even touched on it-- and there was a paragraph on the test where they had to add commas. They haven't seen that crap since last year, and didn't pay attention to it then.

Whatever. I can't write the state test, either. They're gonna have to take it. The person writing our tests has seen the new Mississippi Curriculum Test, or has at least seen sample questions. She's supposed to be writing the regular tests so that the MCT looks familiar when they take it.

They say it's significantly harder this year. God help us. We were barely keeping our heads above water with the first one, watered down as it was.

At least the desire to learn is the same everywhere! Mr.Coach's (er..Mr.Cheese) brightest student----Bob the perch in the fish tank! Seriously, he swears the fish is the only one paying attention in class and that's just because he doesn't have legs to run away with.

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