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Wednesday, July 25, 2007 

Got Skillz?

Today was eight hours of hell. It was mucho boringo, except for a very weird thing that happened to me. It was very weird, but I'm scared to blog about it in much detail.

The first thing that was discussed this morning was teacher blogs. Nobody explicitly said that teachers should not blog or that there was any inherent danger in it, but it was quite clear from the discussion that the blogosphere is filled with many a teacher. As you can imagine, it got me thinking about who may be watching. And that is why I'm afraid to tell you the details of the weirdness that occurred today.

Let's just say it involved another female whose interests in me seemed to reach beyond the realm of what might be considered professional. And she expressed this interest in a way that educators might describe as...tactile, or perhaps, kinesthetic.

Hang on. I think I need to go vomit.





Okay I'm back.

The first two days of this week were pretty helpful. Today was helpful, but aside from the molestation that I had to endure, it was so boring that it was hard to stay tuned in. The company that presented this workshop is one that works in districts across the nation. They said they are working with Memphis City Schools, schools in Arkansas, and some small towns in Missouri, including Cape Girardeau. So I suspect Hillbilly Mom may have had to suffer through the same workshop at some point, since they provide such practical guidance for educators across the continent. She would no doubt have the vocabulary to say so, if she so chose.

At the end of last week, after I went to my classroom and met up with some other teachers who tried to scare me, I was lacking confidence about the upcoming school year. Now that I've had some workshops to knock the rust off my Mad Teacher Skillz, I'm feeling much more capable. At the moment, I'm quite confident that I can walk in and take charge and make it happen. That's what it's all about.

Well, that and dodging airborne desks. I should probably brush up on my desk dodging skills.

By all means, brush up on THAT skill. You may have to defend yourself against all sorts of things - like overly friendly co-workers, apparently.

I was at a convenience store once, getting a Mountain Dew, which is my drug of choice, and made the mistake of smiling at the cashier and making a little small talk. I knew I'd apparently gone too far when she smiled with all three of her teeth and asked me if I had email. I still didn't have a clue, so I just said well, yeah, I do. She wrote something down on a piece of paper, handed it to me, and WINKED at me, showing all three teeth again, and said "Email me sometime!"

I have never been back to that store.

Ewwwwwwww!

This chick actually groped me. I had been talking to her all week because we had some things in common and I thought she was cool and might make a good new friend. Apparently her idea of "friend" was a little different than mine, as I discovered the moment her hand touched my upper thigh. Lawd. I just pretended it didn't happen and hoped nobody else noticed. I do have to work with these people, after all.

Ewwwww, right back atcha! Guess she thought YOU'D be a new GOOD friend. Man, whatever happened to the good ole' days when what happened in the closet STAYED in the closet?

I see nothing wrong with what happened. In fact I've seen several movies with this very situation, and it always worked out great. The teachers (or secretaries, or nurses, or nuns) always become the best of friends, and live happily ever after.
Or at least I think they do - I usually lose interest after a couple minutes or so.

Ahh...good times. It reminds me of our incident a few years ago when we caught the two young ladies in the same bathroom stall "comforting" each other.

Or the lady in the Save-A-Lot that certain New Year's Day who followed me up and down the aisles stroking my arm, saying I was "SO PRETTY". OK, I think she was mentally ill, but it was quite an ego-booster.

The upper thigh is off limits, methinks. Do you wear your wedding ring? Perhaps it could ward off such attacks much like a crucifix repelling a vampire. I am not touchy-feely. My own personal children are as far as it goes. I even begrudge Mabel her annual hug at the exchanging of the Christmas gifts, and that is right in front of my students. You must get some body armor or something. Now!

Stew, you're sick.

HBMom, yeah I had the ring on. I wear it daily, AND I mentioned my husband on several occasions-- especially when she asked me to go to a local bar with her after work, and I said I couldn't because my husband would be waiting for me at the house. But she mentioned her boyfriend a time or two, so I'm thinking maybe she's just not concerned about the men we're committed to.

I don't mind huggy people, but touching the upper thigh is a bit more than touchy feely.

I DO need body armor, or some lesbian repellant.

It took 3 visits to a certain bar in San Antonio for us to realize the only guys in the bar were the 2 we took with us....it was a lesbian biker bar. Three different visits.....can you tell we are from Oklahoma????? Or maybe it was just that we were pretty wasted by the time we got there. In our defense, one in each couple looked like a dude in all that smoky atmosphere and dark lighting!

Thanks, Meanie! You flatter me, though.

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