Diary of a Sleepy Momma
Charlie is awesome. This post has nothing to do with his awesomeness-- in fact, I'm about to bitch about his incessant sleepeatpooping, but I just thought I'd remind you that he is indeed awesome.
Today I learned why I'm even more exhausted than usual. I learned that three weeks of age is the typical time for a growth spurt, and three week old babies eat every 2 hours during a growth spurt. Every. Two. Hours. We were up to about 4 hours, so this sudden jump back to eating every 2 hours feels unfair. Cruel, even. He went from 2 middle of the night feedings to 3 or 4. Every time I hear him cry during the night, all I can think is Already?
This morning at 4:00, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep for a few minutes while feeding him. He was back in bed again by 4:30, but woke up again at 5:00, having pooped his pants and wiggled out of his swaddle, and then he woke up again at 6:00 for his next meal. Then again at 8, and so forth. At 10:00, I gave up trying to sleep, and have been up all day. I didn't even take my 3:00 nap today. It would take me probably 20 minutes to fall asleep, and then I'd only get an hour and a half of actual sleep, and it just didn't seem worth it. Normally I don't take any time to fall asleep, but these days my mind is always racing. I don't know if it's hormones or anxiety or both, but I find myself lying with my eyes wide open thinking about all sorts of things-- what if the babysitter is really an evil witch who eats babies? I don't remember her showing me where he would sleep. What if she puts him on a regular bed and he rolls over and suffocates? Should I go back to work at all? How will I breastfeed him if I do go back? Won't I miss teaching if I don't go back? Will they suspend my license for a year if I don't finish my contract? What will I say to my boss if I quit? Will it help Charlie to have me home at this age, or should I wait until he's older to stop working? I wonder if that diaper rash hurts him as bad as it hurts me. He seemed to like his first few baths, so I wonder why he threw such a fit during his bath yesterday. Why am I still awake? He's gonna be up soon. My boobs hurt. I wish formula was good for babies, but I'd never stop worrying that it was made by some American hating Chinese baby poison factory. Shit, is he up already? --when I could and should be stealing a few minutes of sleep.
It's 7:15, and my little booby loving angel is stirring. I'm definitely going to bed after this feeding.
Today I learned why I'm even more exhausted than usual. I learned that three weeks of age is the typical time for a growth spurt, and three week old babies eat every 2 hours during a growth spurt. Every. Two. Hours. We were up to about 4 hours, so this sudden jump back to eating every 2 hours feels unfair. Cruel, even. He went from 2 middle of the night feedings to 3 or 4. Every time I hear him cry during the night, all I can think is Already?
This morning at 4:00, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep for a few minutes while feeding him. He was back in bed again by 4:30, but woke up again at 5:00, having pooped his pants and wiggled out of his swaddle, and then he woke up again at 6:00 for his next meal. Then again at 8, and so forth. At 10:00, I gave up trying to sleep, and have been up all day. I didn't even take my 3:00 nap today. It would take me probably 20 minutes to fall asleep, and then I'd only get an hour and a half of actual sleep, and it just didn't seem worth it. Normally I don't take any time to fall asleep, but these days my mind is always racing. I don't know if it's hormones or anxiety or both, but I find myself lying with my eyes wide open thinking about all sorts of things-- what if the babysitter is really an evil witch who eats babies? I don't remember her showing me where he would sleep. What if she puts him on a regular bed and he rolls over and suffocates? Should I go back to work at all? How will I breastfeed him if I do go back? Won't I miss teaching if I don't go back? Will they suspend my license for a year if I don't finish my contract? What will I say to my boss if I quit? Will it help Charlie to have me home at this age, or should I wait until he's older to stop working? I wonder if that diaper rash hurts him as bad as it hurts me. He seemed to like his first few baths, so I wonder why he threw such a fit during his bath yesterday. Why am I still awake? He's gonna be up soon. My boobs hurt. I wish formula was good for babies, but I'd never stop worrying that it was made by some American hating Chinese baby poison factory. Shit, is he up already? --when I could and should be stealing a few minutes of sleep.
It's 7:15, and my little booby loving angel is stirring. I'm definitely going to bed after this feeding.
I sympathize.... hopefully you can get in a good nap and catch up on a little sleep!
I do the same thing with my mind racing at night - it really pisses me off sometimes that my husband can be snoring next to me with not a care in the world. When I get like that I have to tell myself that I can solve nothing right now and being tired won't help in the morning so "STOP IT!"
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