Pregnancy Diary
Sometimes I can't breathe unless I lie down and stretch my body out as long as it'll go. I wonder how this is going to affect me at work. Can you see me stretched out on my desk in a classroom of 8th graders? How long would it take them to find the duct tape?
Yesterday I realized that I haven't seen my vagina in a couple of weeks. Something tells me I should say goodbye to my feet soon.
My boobs are hot. And I don't mean "Hey baby nice rack" hot. I mean they're actually warm to the touch. WTF?
My big, soft, comfortable t-shirts that I used to wear around the house? Too tight. Nothing depresses a woman like putting on her husband's shirt and having it stop at the belly.
My closet used to have two sections-- clothes I could wear now, and clothes I would be able to wear again if I'd skip about six cheeseburgers. Things just got more complicated. Now there are four sections: clothes that fit two weeks ago but are too small now; clothes that fit now but will be too small in two weeks; maternity clothes that I can wear to work; maternity clothes that I can't wear to work.
My shoe size has changed suddenly. I normally wear a 10, which is bad enough. Ladies, next time you're in the shoe store, just try to find your favorite pair of shoes in a 10. Feel my pain. This weekend I was shoe shopping, and tried on a 10. It was like I was putting on a kid's shoe. My foot wouldn't even go in. No, my feet were not swollen; they just seem to be more...spread out. Wider. I have read that this is from the softening of ligaments or tendons or whatever holds things in place. I have also read that this can be permanent in some women. Let's hope not, because right now my feet are not feet so much as they are boat paddles. You could mount them on the bottom of a plane and make a smooth water landing.
My nipples are suddenly...well...different.
Pepcid is mannah from Heaven. Mannah. From. Heaven.
And so are flip flops, but you can't wear flip flops to work.
Yesterday I realized that I haven't seen my vagina in a couple of weeks. Something tells me I should say goodbye to my feet soon.
My boobs are hot. And I don't mean "Hey baby nice rack" hot. I mean they're actually warm to the touch. WTF?
My big, soft, comfortable t-shirts that I used to wear around the house? Too tight. Nothing depresses a woman like putting on her husband's shirt and having it stop at the belly.
My closet used to have two sections-- clothes I could wear now, and clothes I would be able to wear again if I'd skip about six cheeseburgers. Things just got more complicated. Now there are four sections: clothes that fit two weeks ago but are too small now; clothes that fit now but will be too small in two weeks; maternity clothes that I can wear to work; maternity clothes that I can't wear to work.
My shoe size has changed suddenly. I normally wear a 10, which is bad enough. Ladies, next time you're in the shoe store, just try to find your favorite pair of shoes in a 10. Feel my pain. This weekend I was shoe shopping, and tried on a 10. It was like I was putting on a kid's shoe. My foot wouldn't even go in. No, my feet were not swollen; they just seem to be more...spread out. Wider. I have read that this is from the softening of ligaments or tendons or whatever holds things in place. I have also read that this can be permanent in some women. Let's hope not, because right now my feet are not feet so much as they are boat paddles. You could mount them on the bottom of a plane and make a smooth water landing.
My nipples are suddenly...well...different.
Pepcid is mannah from Heaven. Mannah. From. Heaven.
And so are flip flops, but you can't wear flip flops to work.
Labels: it's not a pregnancy blog
Don't worry - at the rate your feet are growing, you should still be able to see them for a while yet....
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Anonymous |
2:37 PM