Lessons.
-- Seventh graders get hormones for Christmas, but still find corny homonym jokes funnier than the oh-so-cool eighth graders.
-- A department meeting can be avoided if you just happen to call that long-winded overprotective parent five minutes before it's supposed to start. The only question is whether it's worth it. That can be answered by carefully considering what kind of mood the dept. chair is in that day. (It was worth it.)
-- Teaching causes infertility, but that's probably a good thing for teachers who work in districts like mine. It's not like I'd have time for a baby anyway.
-- If you point out mistakes on the tests, they'll make you write the next one.
-- If you're happy to be there, or can at least fake it for a couple of hours, the kids will have a harder time seeing you as an evil troll who diagrams sentences in her spare time.
-- The crack babies we heard about some years ago are now young adults who have spawned more crack babies, who are now in middle school.
-- Crack babies who have crack mammas like to be hugged, because nobody else ever does it. A compliment will go nearly as far.
-- Don't use too many sick days in the first semester, or you'll develop a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome that will be about to kill you before the end of January.
-- The parent you imagine will be supportive may just be the one with conspiracy theories dancing in her head who runs to get the recorder when she realizes the phone call's coming from the school.
-- It doesn't matter how, how much, how long, or how often you teach something. If they don't care, you can't help them.
-- A department meeting can be avoided if you just happen to call that long-winded overprotective parent five minutes before it's supposed to start. The only question is whether it's worth it. That can be answered by carefully considering what kind of mood the dept. chair is in that day. (It was worth it.)
-- Teaching causes infertility, but that's probably a good thing for teachers who work in districts like mine. It's not like I'd have time for a baby anyway.
-- If you point out mistakes on the tests, they'll make you write the next one.
-- If you're happy to be there, or can at least fake it for a couple of hours, the kids will have a harder time seeing you as an evil troll who diagrams sentences in her spare time.
-- The crack babies we heard about some years ago are now young adults who have spawned more crack babies, who are now in middle school.
-- Crack babies who have crack mammas like to be hugged, because nobody else ever does it. A compliment will go nearly as far.
-- Don't use too many sick days in the first semester, or you'll develop a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome that will be about to kill you before the end of January.
-- The parent you imagine will be supportive may just be the one with conspiracy theories dancing in her head who runs to get the recorder when she realizes the phone call's coming from the school.
-- It doesn't matter how, how much, how long, or how often you teach something. If they don't care, you can't help them.
